Columnist.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, President Biden suffered severe physical and mental decline. Thank you, Jake Tapper, for finally uncovering the truth.
Who wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of such great gifts?
"These allegations regarding Jake Tapper are disturbing," said Jake Tapper.
President Trump really does know the art of the deal.
"I am willing to take this hit for our cause."
"You expect me to just wait in line at the airport like everyone else? No, that's not practical."
America is guaranteed to be a safer, brighter place with these terrifying people locked up behind bars.
"We're going to create one big, beautiful prison city, just like the British did with Australia."
Order the National Science Foundation to determine if 100 men can really defeat a gorilla.
Sounds like Trump's Papacy will be even more Catholic than Francis' was.
"Let there be no doubt who we are fighting for. It's literally tattooed on our faces."
The means of maple syrup production will be seized for the proletariat.
"The country simply won't be the same without them," said Senator Elizabeth Warren.
"We're pretty sure it's a record," said FBI Director Kash Patel.
Expect far less diversity among your candy-coated chocolates.
"Poisoning our population is part of the fabric of America."
"It's time for MS-13 members to be celebrated for their valuable and important contributions to our world."
"This is a perilous road to go down."
