It almost seems like a plot from an Adam Sandler movie. A teenager is being picked on and bullied by classmates. So, instead of fighting back or swinging one punch, the student cleverly brings a tape recorder to class one day and records the taunting and harassment. In the movie version, however, the student plays the recording of the bad behavior to the parents and teachers and is carried off the football field in triumph for his ingenuity. But this is real life which as we know is way more absurd than any plot Hollywood could devise.

Christian Stanfield is a 15-year-old with a learning disability. His fellow classmates have made him a regular verbal punching bag. The teacher does not intervene. Neither does the school. So Christian thought that if he recorded the taunts and bad behavior someone would do something about it. So he brought his iPad to school and started recording. And what was heard there was outrageous. Christian was right. These fellow students were merciless. The teacher did nothing to stop the ill-mannered juvenile delinquents from picking and picking on poor Christian. But in some Kafka-esque weirdness, the school, when finding out about the recording, had Christian arrested. What?

Bullying is a hot topic these days. But as a society we have to ask ourselves what has led to this epidemic. Sure, growing up 50 years ago, I was both picked on and picked on others. But it never got out-of-hand because parents were usually available to stop it in its tracks with a stern lesson on respect and tolerance. Today, parents are not available. Teachers are overworked and stressed. Religion is not part of the classroom either so there’s no teaching of God’s acceptance of all creatures including the blind, the lame, and the weak. But I contend there is yet another blame in this, one that no one else wants to admit.

Humor today comes in all forms, and there is nothing funnier than a comedian making fun of someone. Saturday Night Live and Seinfeld, for example, have made millions of dollars and have millions of followers based for the most part on humor that is making fun of someone or something. Even Letterman and Leno’s standups usually are picking on someone. Is it okay if the object of that joke is a politician or celebrity? As a society we have said yes, but they do keep moving the line. The joke is okay if it picks on the job they’re doing but not the color of their skin or their children. Is the joke okay if you pick on how much weight a female celebrity has gained? Is it okay to pick on a politician’s private life? If what the celebrity has done is so absurd, surely bullying is invited, right?

What happened to Christian was an outrage to be sure, but we need to ask ourselves, when it comes to bullying, do we engage in behavior that walks right up to that line ourselves? Do we laugh at a co-worker’s outfit behind their back? Do we talk to our spouse about a relative’s ridiculous choice of spouse or way of life? Do we try and elevate ourselves above others by word or deed? If we are ever to get a handle on putting an end to bullying, we have to clean up our own acts. And the first step in that is not to allow bullying in any form into our worlds. For making fun of someone, no matter what the avenue, be it television or real life, isn’t funny, no matter how much the networks say it is.