This is a weird primary season. Bedlam reigns in both parties. A rookie leads the Republicans and an upstart keeps nipping at the buttocks of the presumptive Queen of America. The blustering bully on the Republican side has beat senseless every other kid in the schoolyard, while the real badass can’t put away an old man who doesn’t have enough energy to stand up straight. Insults fly in every direction, fisticuffs occur on a regular basis, and candidates have abandoned the race for the highest office in the land to compete for a medal in victimhood. It’s messy as hell, but still people remain mesmerized by the extravaganza. The only winners appear to be the owners of news outlets.

Everything on both sides of the fence seems chaotic. How did this much disorder get inflicted on a political system designed to impose order on the democratic process? Did society collectively decide to visit the funny farm? Can nobody get control of this mess?

Perhaps someone has. Perhaps none of what’s happening is haphazard. What if we were to assume that everything is going to plan? What if someone has orchestrated events to reach a predetermined endgame? If so, what in the world could be the endgame?

To figure this out, we need to start with some assumptions. All of these are incontrovertible.

• Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton hate each other.

• They each control opposing political machines.

• 2016 could be a bad year for Democrats because the economy sucks, world order wobbles on the edge of a precipice, and Americans are growing tired of progressivism.

• When this plan was put together, Bernie Sanders had no political machine; no money; no name recognition outside of Podunk, Vermont; and his followers could not fill a conference room at a Motel 6.

• The Republican establishment is brimming with clueless dolts easily manipulated.

• A fight between Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren would harm Democrat Party chances in the general election.

• Elizabeth Warren is bright, committed, and cool. Hillary is not.

• Hillary is a criminal.

• Donald Trump is not a Republican.

• Bernie Sanders is a true-believer socialist.

Last, but not least,

• Barack Obama does not want to relinquish power.

If Hillary Clinton wins, she will sweep all of the Obama apostolates under the rug. No one would answer his calls from any part of the government or party apparatus. This would relegate Obama to the equivalent of Siberia, except it would be colder. With these givens, what can President Obama and his associates do?

Here is a plan.

1. Get Sanders to run against Hillary and loan him the Obama machine.

2. Encourage Obama donors to surreptitiously fund Bernie Sander.

3. Nudge Donald Trump to run for president as a born-again Republican because he embodies every attribute of a decades-in-the-making GOP bogeyman.

4. Tell the compliant media to cover Trump non-stop, and trick the noncompliant media to do the same.

5. In order to prepare the nation, have the media talk non-stop about a contested Republican Convention.

6. Get Sanders to back off once he has exposed Hillary as a piss-poor candidate.

7. Now allow Hillary to cruise toward the convention.

8. Shortly before the convention, surprise the world with a Hillary Clinton indictment and leak damning and damnable evidence from the grand jury.

9. Keep Hillary subdued with the promise of a pardon.

10. Nominate Elizabeth Warren at a contested Democrat Convention.

11. If Trump leaves the field, taint every Republican with his oozing slime. If Trump wins, Elizabeth Warren mops the floor with him.

12. On January 20th, 2017, the nation joyously inaugurates the first woman (and Native American) president in American history — Ms. President Elizabeth Warren.

I love it when a plan comes together.

James D. Best is the author of numerous books, including Tempest at Dawn and Principled Action, Lessons from the Origins of the American Republic.