Stephen Guy Hardin / May 4, 2011

Obama, Clooney and Tom Hanks Soiled Pants in 2012

“There have been times, I’m sure, during the past two and half years where you read in the papers or you’re watching on TV and you’re saying ‘Ah, Obama, why did you compromise with the Republicans?’ Or ‘why did health care take so long? I want a single-payer plan anyway.’”

“‘Golly if he was just as good a communicator as George Clooney,” the president said, as he gazed longingly at George Clooney, who was sitting in the audience checkbook in hand. “'I’m sure the American people would understand exactly what needs to be done.’”

The President was certainly in his element, as he worked the stars and their various, nefarious minions on a campaign blitzkrieg through Leftwing Hollywood in search of easy money. And what easier money is there for a Socialist President to reap than the reigning morons… I mean A-List celebrities of Hollywood.

“We set this up so I am going to go from table to table and you guys can poke me and prod me, and lift the hood and kick the tires and give me what I’m sure will be wonderful advice,” Obama said to the roomful of dutiful worshippers. “Because looking around this room, this is not a shy group.”

The closed door, by invitation only event, was hosted at the Sony Pictures Studios, where Jamie Foxx did his overrated Ray Charles impersonation for an estimated audience of 2,500 suckers… er, I mean Democrat Party faithful.

“I was just hearing about Spider-Man 4, so I’m all psyched up about that,” Obama said to the collection of high-paying donors at the exclusive dinner at Sony. He added that he was “very big on Spider-Man.” It was also reported privately that the President felt it was a symbol of corporate Hollywood’s institutional racism that Spiderman had been cast as a white man, instead of a person of color.

But I digress.

After the dog and pony show at the Sony studios, Mr. Obama’s motorcade deposited him at the Tavern restaurant in Brentwood, where producer Jeffrey Katzenberg hosted an event for about 50 high-paying Hollywood Liberal fat cats.

Hollywood Liberal fat cats, indeed.

While at the Tavern, Obama allowed the 35,000 dollar a plate donors to touch the hem of his glowing shroud, as he glided among those whose careers had eclipsed. Some of the guests included George Clooney, Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson and comedian Will Ferrell, who was seen holding hands with White House adviser David Plouffe.

“We all feel very lucky to have you as our president,” Mr. Katzenberg the CEO of DreamWorks said, as he leaned over to kiss the Presidents ring. “Four more years.”

“Thank you, Jeffrey. Technically, it’s actually five and a half years,” Mr. Obama replied.

At one point, during his warmed over sales pitch for forking over more of their ill gotten gains to Obama in 2012, the President so moved members of his captive audience that Tom Hanks was heard excitedly squealing ‘5 and a half more years’ to anyone who could stand to smell the stench of cheap bourbon on his breath. It was shortly after his frenzied, nonsensical exclamation that Mr. Hanks was observed walking gingerly to the nearest Men’s Room.

During the 2008 campaign, Mr. Obama enjoyed the high-profile support of Bruce Springsteen, Oprah Winfrey, Robert De Niro and the Peppermint Twins of Boston, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, just to name a few. But considering his current poll standings, the recession and the price of gas, the President may need more than Joy Behar and Rachel Maddow to polish his tarnished image for the 2012 campaign.

Mr. Obama’s Left Coast fear mongering tour is expected to bring in as much as $4 million above the table and untold millions under the table. Of course, these numbers do not represent the bottomless pile of Renminbi Obama will be receiving from his rumored side trip to the Chinese Embassy. Well, if taking Communist Chinese campaign bribes worked for the Clintons, why not Obama / Biden in 2012?

If Communist Chinese bribes, Hollywood romantic comedies manipulated into Progressive propaganda hit pieces and Oprah’s own cable network isn’t enough to reverse the Presidents downward spiral, perhaps a new campaign paradigm ginned up by David Geffen, Steven Spielberg and the Weinstein Brothers should be Obama, Clooney and Tom Hanks Soiled Pants in 2012.

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