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Burt Prelutsky / June 11, 2011

Democrats Should Come With Warning Labels

No doubt a great number of people were confused when just a few days after he suggested that Israel should return to its 1967 borders and then treated Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for the second time in as many visits as if he were a plague carrier, the Jews at the AIPAC conference gave Obama a series of standing ovations.

Apparently it was enough for these buffoons that Obama had mentioned those indefensible borders in the same sentence as “swaps.” Although Obama has never suggested what it is that the Palestinians are supposed to swap in exchange for Israel’s committing geographical suicide – a skate key, a couple of falafels, a Mickey Mantle rookie baseball card? – it was enough that Obama pretended to be even-handed.

No doubt a great number of people were confused when just a few days after he suggested that Israel should return to its 1967 borders and then treated Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for the second time in as many visits as if he were a plague carrier, the Jews at the AIPAC conference gave Obama a series of standing ovations.

Apparently it was enough for these buffoons that Obama had mentioned those indefensible borders in the same sentence as “swaps.” Although Obama has never suggested what it is that the Palestinians are supposed to swap in exchange for Israel’s committing geographical suicide – a skate key, a couple of falafels, a Mickey Mantle rookie baseball card? – it was enough that Obama pretended to be even-handed.

The more naïve that my fellow Jews are when it comes to Obama, the easier it is to understand why so many members of Germany’s Jewish community continued hanging around after Hitler’s rise to power and the tragic events of Kristalnacht.

In a way, it even helps explain why 78% of the Jewish vote went to Obama in 2008 and will very likely go to him in equal numbers, come 2012.

Speaking of elections, the Democrats, as you may have noticed, have celebrated non-stop the fact that Kathy Hochul won the special congressional election in upper state New York. They claim it’s a vindication of their left-wing agenda. What they don’t publicize is the inconvenient truth that while Hochul garnered 47% of the vote to Jane Corwin’s 43%, her margin of victory, 4,694 votes, would have vanished if 9,495 people in the district hadn’t been conned into voting for a jackass named Jack Davis.

Davis, who, in spite of having repeatedly run and lost as a Democrat in prior elections, this time around claimed to be the Tea Party candidate. The fact that this liberal in sheep’s clothing managed to pull off such a dopey scam, in spite of being denounced as a fraud by the Tea Party, points out the weakness inherent in democracy; namely, that all sorts of morons get to vote.

On the other hand, it should serve as a model for those Republicans gearing up for next year’s election in left-wing districts. All they have to do is get some guy to agree to run as a Greenie or an avowed Socialist, thus taking votes away from the Democrat, and making it possible for the conservative to win with 47% of the vote.

On the subject of elections, I’d like to congratulate the states that now demand that voters prove with legal documentation they are whom they claim to be. Predictably, the Democrats are screaming bloody murder, insisting that Blacks and young people are being unfairly targeted. What they neglect to explain is in what way it’s unfair, inasmuch as the same requirements already apply if you drive, fly, cash a check or purchase booze or cigarettes.

Leave it to liberals to suggest that preserving the sanctity of our election process is less important than buying a carton of smokes, a six-pack or flying to Bakersfield.

Finally, in case you missed the news, 20% of the recent ObamaCare waivers went to ritzy nightclubs, restaurants and hotels, in Nancy Pelosi’s San Francisco congressional district. Although Rep. Pelosi claims to know nothing about it, one can’t help being suspicious when you notice the way her nose has grown recently. Besides, with somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,400 waivers having been handed out to labor unions, large corporations, financial firms, local governments, the AARP and every other large group with close ties to Obama, these are the first waivers that have been granted to individual retail businesses.

I’m too much of a gentleman to call the House minority leader a lying little witch, but I am willing to give odds that Mrs. Pelosi will never have to pay for another steak, lobster or sloe gin fizz, and will some day take her place in the pantheon of other beloved San Franciscans, such as Barry Bonds, Sally Stanford and Harvey Milk.

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