Right Opinion

Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

Burt Prelutsky · Nov. 3, 2013

It recently occurred to me that Washington, D.C., is like a supermarket for lobbyists. It provides them with the convenience of one-stop shopping.

Speaking of our nation’s capital, in response to the controversy swirling around the Washington Redskins, some wag suggested that the truly offensive word wasn’t Redskins, it was Washington.

Some people are shocked that so many members of the acting profession are liberals. It shouldn’t be too surprising. After all, even though some actors are more talented than others, all that’s really required is an unnatural desire to live a life of pretense. Although I have known a lot of actors, and even liked a few of them, I confess I have never understood the desire to wear other people’s clothes and to have makeup applied in order to recite lines written by someone else and be told where to stand, when to move and how to read those lines by a third party.

It’s all harmless enough, I suppose, but as a rule, people outgrow the urge to pretend to be someone other than themselves at a fairly early age. Instead, with maturity, most of us want to become the best possible version of ourselves. But without passing through the maturation process, one has no recourse but to remain forever a child; that is to say, a liberal.

Speaking of actors, one of the better ones, James Woods, recently garnered some notice by saying some extremely honest – that is to say, harsh – things about Barack Obama. That grabbed my attention because when I interviewed Mr. Woods a few years ago for my book, “Portraits of Success,” he told me that although some people assumed he was a Republican, they were mistaken.

After reading that he tweeted among other things that “Obama is vile and a true abomination” and “I think Barack Obama is a threat to the integrity and future of the Republic” and, furthermore, “Sixteen years of machine Democrats shredding the fabric of the Republic will toss the greatest democracy on the trash heap of history,” I sent him an email.

I asked him if he had changed his politics in the three or four years since our interview. His honest response was that he had always been a conservative, but that he had to eat. He added: “These libs are brutally dangerous and sneaky people.”

As you see, there are always exceptions. So, although most actors never really mature, but simply age into character roles, occasionally one does.

In spite of his Oscar nominations, Woods expects he will never work again. How ironic is it that liberals are forever bringing up the blacklist of 60 years ago as if it were on a par with the Spanish Inquisition, but don’t seem to mind the practice at all so long as they’re in charge of the racks and applying the thumbscrews!

I recall that several years ago I had an assignment to write a TV pilot about a private eye. At one point, I had him enter a dive where the entertainment consisted of the barflies engaging in what was a fad of the time, dwarf-tossing. The dwarfs wore padding and football helmets and the boozers would compete to see how far they could hurl them. When the network executive read my script, he had a conniption. He all but accused me of being a Nazi. I told him that I didn’t engage in the pastime, but that the scene was based on reality. It wasn’t even as if the dwarfs were being tossed against walls; they landed on gym mats.

But, being a self-righteous liberal, he just kept prattling on about how demeaning it was to the little people. I pointed out that nobody was holding a gun to their little heads, and that it provided them with an honest livelihood. When you got right down to it, professional football players did the same thing, only for a lot more money.

“It’s just wrong,” he said by way of admonishing me.

“But what if the dwarf wants to be tossed?”

Needless to say, he had no answer. On the other hand, the pilot did not get produced and I am not a millionaire.

Politico columnist Roger Simon recently wrote an article in which he declared that Republicans are haters. That was after he opened the piece by saying he hoped John Boehner and Ted Cruz would drown. He then went on to label those of us on the right as racists. You would have to be as pompous a pinhead as Simon not to realize that when it comes to being hateful, nobody can beat a liberal fathead at his own game.

It seems that for schmucks like Simon, the way it works is that if you oppose Barack Obama, you’re a racist. But if you celebrate Dr. Ben Carson, Clarence Thomas, Walter Williams, Allen West, Tim Scott and Thomas Sowell, you’re also a racist. That sound you hear is my head exploding.

In closing, I will quote Texas Guinan, who declared, “A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country,” and Oscar Ameringer, who, although a confirmed socialist, was sufficiently clear-eyed to observe: “Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.”

Author’s Note: Although I’m still seeking sponsors, my online radio show is on the air, every Wednesday, at 1 p.m. That’s L.A. time. Access www.latalkradio.com, channel 1, and click on Listen Live. You can also download to your iPhone or Android apps. The call-in number is (323)203-0815. I’d like to hear your questions and comments, pro or con. Especially pro.

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