Liberals: Evil or Just Stupid?
There are times when I try to imagine what it must be like to be a member of the Left. But no matter how hard I try, I find I simply can’t bring it off. Instead, I wind up marveling at their ability.
I mean, there are so many things they have to believe that simply aren’t true and to doubt so many other things that are factual.
For openers, they’re required to believe that America is not only not superior to other nations, but is in a great many ways inferior. They have to accept that whereas those who espouse the values of Christianity and Judaism are superstitious bigots, whereas those who pray to Allah are noble in their natures and their spiritual aspirations.
They have to accept the lie that cops, including those who are black, are violent racists, but those who demonstrate in the streets and call for the killing of cops are not.
They are also required to believe that conservative speakers are fascists and should therefore not be permitted to express their opinions on college campuses, whereas those who shout them down and torch buildings in displaying their contempt for the 1st Amendment are to be regarded as defenders of the truth.
In similar fashion, they are called upon to side with terrorist groups like Hamas and Hezbollah, jihadists who openly call for the genocidal extermination of Jews, while labeling Israel, a western-style democracy, as the latter-day version of Nazi Germany.
Their ignorance is so vast and their reliance on propaganda so absolute that they not only had no trouble accepting the lie that Trump is Putin’s puppet, but ignored the fact that Hillary Clinton turned over a quarter of America’s uranium deposits to Russia in exchange for a massive bribe to the Clinton Foundation and that Obama, after promising Putin to be more flexible after the 2012 election, then stood idly by while Putin invaded Ukraine and Syria.
They have also chosen to ignore John Podesta’s financial ties with Russia while hyperventilating over Michael Flynn’s accepting a check from Turkey.
To further establish their fidelity to left-wing nuttiness, they have to pretend that the pampered propagandists for the NY Times, the Washington Post, CNN and MSNBC, are objective reporters whose sole allegiance is to the truth, crass partisanship be damned, and that ObamaCare is anything but an unmitigated disaster.
Speaking of which, they not only had to overlook Obama’s promise that his radical health care bill would allow people to retain their doctors and their current policies if they were happy with them, but the fact that the Democrats in Congress who shoved the rancid bill down our throats saw to it that they didn’t have to depend on it for their own healthcare needs.
Even their credulity must be strained to the breaking point when they’re expected to ignore basic biology and promote the absurd fiction that gender is nothing but a matter of opinion. Or, for that matter, feel compelled to ignore the inconvenient truth that 20 years after Al Gore sounded the climate alarm, none of the nightmarish scenarios he predicted have come to pass.
Something else that liberals never stop chattering about is something called income inequality. The amusing part of that is that those doing most of the chattering — people like Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Hillary Clinton, Maxine Waters and Chuck Schumer — are all multi-millionaires who have never done an honest day’s work in their entire lives.
And when it’s not the career politicians doing the yammering about the great financial divide, it is cable news hosts who pull down millions of dollars a year for insulting President Trump or the privileged snowflakes at places like Yale, Harvard, Middlebury and Cal Berkeley, where the yearly tuition dwarfs most people’s annual income.
Because they have no idea what they’re squawking about, and lack the motivation to question their own privileged status, they never stop to consider the reasons for income inequality or even the dire consequences of arbitrarily raising the minimum wage to, say, $15-an-hour.
It would be like midgets or even those like myself who are simply far short of the national average to complain about height inequality. And as there is no way to make me four or five inches taller, the only solution is to cut six-footers off at the knees.
It is only right, after all, that the heightists pare their fair share.
Speaking of leftist nutballs, the Oregon Senate just voted — along party lines, of course — to force insurance companies to cover the cost of all abortions, including those in the third term. The bill would even cover the 150,000 illegal aliens currently residing in Oregon.
As one of the Republican members of the State Senate said: “It’s a political gift card to Planned Parenthood.”
Still, the liberals in the state legislature must be conflicted about pulling the plug on all those future Democrats. But, inasmuch as they wouldn’t be able to vote for another 18 years, it was probably a pretty easy decision for them to make.
I keep hearing what a massive problem North Korea is causing not only us, but South Korea and Japan. But whenever anyone suggests making a first strike, we’re reminded that Kim Jong-un has batteries of artillery aimed at Seoul, South Korea, home to at least 20 million people.
I have an idea. How about we assassinate Kim? Inasmuch as he has no heirs who could be set up as the figurehead of the dynasty, he would be succeeded by one of his generals. Whoever it turned out to be is unlikely to be as insane as the current leader of the hermit nation.
I understand it would not be easy to get at him, but I’m betting that a $25 million reward would encourage any number of people to give it a shot.
Heck, we offered that much for Osama bin Laden, dead or alive, and he was far less dangerous than Kim, if only because he lacked a nuclear weapon and ICBM missiles.
A friend let me know that he regretted the fact that President Eisenhower coined the term “domino theory” at a 1954 press conference, because it led Presidents Kennedy and Johnson to use that theory as a rational for our involvement in Vietnam.
Although I had always credited Secretary of State John Foster Dulles with coining the term and the policy, it led me to reply with the following: “Ike would have been better-served if he’d never opened his yap. It was on his way out of the White House in 1961, that he paused to warn us of the military-industrial complex. It’s a term that peaceniks have used over the past 56 years to harangue against every defense bill ever considered by Congress.
There’s no getting around the fact that there has always been too much fat hidden away in the Pentagon’s appropriation bills, but it is also true that 17 years earlier, Ike thought the complex was pretty great when he prepared for the Normandy invasion.
On the other hand, perhaps he believed it was his military savvy that carried us to victory on Omaha Beach. It was in fact the brave men who did the heavy lifting. But it was American industry that provided him and the other generals with an overwhelming number of planes, tanks and weaponry. Otherwise, we would be forced to believe that George Patton was a more brilliant strategist than Erwin Rommel.
Today’s joke comes to us courtesy of Dave Krueger, who proves that Napa, California, turns out something other than wine.
Two old retired doctors, one 72 and one 75, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 75-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even breathing hard. The younger man was amazed at the guy’s stamina, and asked him for his secret.
"Rye bread does the trick. I eat it every day. It keeps your energy level high, and you’ll have great stamina when it comes to the ladies!”
So, on his way home, the 72-year-old stopped at a local bakery and took a number.
When his number was called, the saleslady asked him what he’d like.
“Do you have any rye bread?”
“Yes, and it’s fresh-baked.”
“Well, I’d like five loaves.”
“My goodness, five loaves?! By the time you get to the third loaf, it’ll be hard.”
Smacking his forehead, the man said: “I can’t believe everybody knows about shit this but me!”
Because Disqus, for technical reasons I can’t decipher, won’t allow me to comment on the comments, I am posting my email address is case anyone wishes to provide me with feedback: BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.