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Burt Prelutsky / Jul. 20, 2020

Blacks and the Plantation Party

The Democrats desperately need blacks to remain steadfast in their support because not since 1964 has a Democratic presidential candidate received a majority of white votes.

The Democrats desperately need blacks to remain steadfast in their support because not since 1964 has a Democratic presidential candidate received a majority of white votes.

The Democrats need black votes not just at the polls and in Congress, but as an excuse to oppose photo I.D.‘s, which would otherwise greatly curtail election fraud.

You notice that as soon as anyone proposes this common sense solution, the Democrats immediately insist it’s a Machiavellian plot to disenfranchise black voters.

They never bother explaining how it’s only at election time that blacks lack these things which they all seem to have when it comes to boarding planes, entering courts and government buildings, purchasing booze and cigarettes, driving a car or cashing a check. The Democrats simply insist that blacks don’t have them and the gutless Republicans never even demand that the Democrats round some up and prove these unfortunate souls actually exist somewhere on the North American continent.

In nature, this is called a mutualist relationship, one that is beneficial to both parties.

One of the better known of these involves sharks and pilot fish. In exchange for the little fish cleaning the parasites that would otherwise form between the shark’s teeth, the sharks don’t eat the little fish and provide them with protection from other predators.

While checking up on them, I came across a little known fact; namely, that sharks fart. It’s not a question I would have asked myself, but there it was, asked and answered on Google.

As it was explained, sharks take in air when they surface. It then passes through their body and comes out of their cloacas.


In a related matter, a Philadelphia election judge named Domenick J. DeMuro was found guilty of “depriving voters of their civil rights.”

It seems that in exchange for stuffing ballot boxes with ballots he had run off by himself, he received bribes ranging from $300 to $5,000, depending on whether they were local, state or federal elections.

Ah, for the good old days when Democrats could buy votes for a buck each or a dozen for $10.


In one of my recent diatribes targeting John Bolton, I mistakenly misquoted Caroline Glick when I wrote: “Biden could never get over the fact that he was just an advisor to the President, not the President.”

Obviously, she was referring to Bolton, as was I. But wouldn’t it be grand if those 19 words would one day serve as Joe Biden’s epitaph?


In case you’ve been wondering where all the commonsense that used to exist in the U.S. has gone, I suspect it wound up in Hungary where Prime Minister Viktor Orbán has voiced his objections to Muslim immigrants, the EU bureaucrats in Brussels, George Soros and foreign universities, and is now leading the fight to stop people from changing their “gender” and compelling others to humor them in their psychotic delusion.


After Sen. Ron Johnson (R/WI) requested documents pertaining to Hunter Biden’s sweetheart deal with the Ukraine power company that brought him $80,000-a-month, the Democrats screamed that it was a witch hunt.

It should be noted that the Democrats had all arrived on broomsticks.


Jackie Breedlove shared with me a news item that reports that a “woke” website is calling for a more gender inclusive language when referring to a baby’s birth.

It’s been recommended that the word “mother” be banished and replaced with something along the lines of “birthing person,” and that “breast-feeding” be called “chest feeding.”

I’m sure there are any number of progressive couples who will go along with this latest example of lunacy. But I don’t envy them when they try to force the toddler to say, “birthing person” instead of “mama.” Compared to that, toilet training should be a snap.


After I wrote about the exchange I had with the Japanese-American woman over the use of “Oriental,” she wrote to say that there hadn’t been a few million prisoners in FDR’s Japanese re-location (concentration) camps, as I indicated, but more in the range of 150,000-200,000.

In response, I let her know that I was happy to be corrected and that I was pulling for the Oriental students to win their discrimination suit against Harvard. “Imagine,” I wrote, “being discriminated against for being smart and working hard. Only in America.”

Liberals, as you may have noticed, have an impossible time telling their elbows from their cloacas.


Dr. Richard Stiso shared a meme that pointed out: “There’s a spike in Coronavirus cases because there’s a spike in testing. If we gave more IQ tests, there’d be a spike in morons.”


When Colette Spangenberger, writing from Germany, said that black is still the way that people dress when attending funerals, I let her know that never made sense to me. Why should they be unhappy occasions instead of celebrations?

As I see it, if the deceased was religious and believed in an afterlife, why wouldn’t his friends and relatives celebrate that he was now in Heaven and hanging around with God?

If the person wasn’t a believer, he was probably in pain when he died, and why shouldn’t we celebrate that his pain is a thing of the past, even if he or she is, also?

If and when I die, I want it to be a celebration. You don’t have to wear Hawaiian shirts in my honor, but feel free to if you like.


Lately, my dog Angel has been having one of her occasional false pregnancies. At such times, it’s my job to bring all of her stuffed toys off the shelf where they’re usually kept and hand them over so that the birthing individual can cuddle them.

The reason she has all of her original equipment is that my late wife didn’t want to mutilate her. For my part, I didn’t put up a fuss because I hate to see a dog having to wear one of those cones. I always suspect the animal feels like a character trapped in a Franz Kafka nightmare, being punished for a crime it doesn’t recall having committed.


During an exchange with Greg Palko, he referred to George C. Scott as a friend of mine who also happened to have had a dim view of the Academy Awards.

I let him know that I had once interviewed Scott, but he wasn’t a friend. I was actually flown to Spain to interview him shortly after he’d been nominated as Best Actor for his role in “Patton.” He had already announced that because he opposed acting awards, he would not show up at the ceremony.

When we got together, I told him it was a great publicity stunt, but he was a phony. I pointed out that he had already been nominated for two Oscars in the Best Supporting Actor category (“Anatomy of a Murder,” “The Hustler”) but hadn’t won. He hadn’t said anything negative about acting awards on either occasion.

This time, he was a favorite to win, but he wasn’t taking any chances. If he won, it was proof of how great he was. Look, even after I told them I wouldn’t show up for their cockamamie award, I was so great, they had no choice. If he somehow lost, it was because he had said he wouldn’t show up to collect the gold-plated doorstop.

Then I pointed out to Scott that actors don’t win awards, scripts and roles do. Otherwise, the same people would be nominated every year. I told him he’d been great in “Patton,” but a bunch of other guys would have been terrific in the part. The real competition wasn’t for the Oscar, but for the role.

I reminded him that once-in-a-lifetime roles will always win an Oscar, whether it was Ernie Borgnine as “Marty,” Yul Brynner as the King of Siam or, an earlier King of Siam, Rex Harrison, for Professor Higgins in “My Fair Lady.”

In conclusion, I mentioned that he had not only accepted Broadway’s Tony Awards, he had even handed them out on occasion. The only difference between Oscars and Tonys is that millions of people know who wins Oscars, but only the 500 or so people who show up at the Tony ceremonies know or care who wins those.

In retrospect, the best thing about the interview is that the notoriously short-tempered Scott didn’t punch my lights out.


My favorite lines this past week were these:

“Dogs are loyal, but cats don’t tell the cops where you hide your drugs.”

“Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.”

“Aliens probably ride past earth and lock their doors.”

More now than ever.

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