Burt Prelutsky / Nov. 1, 2010

Juan Big Hullabaloo

If I had ever imagined for even a second that Juan Williams would be at the center of a controversy, I would have guessed that he had appeared on TV wearing a turtleneck instead of his customary tie and jacket.

Mr. Williams, after all, has done very well for himself being the well-mannered, soft-spoken, black house liberal on the various Fox opinion shows. He is less moronic than Alan Colmes, less egotistical than Geraldo Rivera and better-looking than Leslie Marshall.

If I had ever imagined for even a second that Juan Williams would be at the center of a controversy, I would have guessed that he had appeared on TV wearing a turtleneck instead of his customary tie and jacket.

Mr. Williams, after all, has done very well for himself being the well-mannered, soft-spoken, black house liberal on the various Fox opinion shows. He is less moronic than Alan Colmes, less egotistical than Geraldo Rivera and better-looking than Leslie Marshall.

So imagine my surprise when I woke up one morning to discover that NPR had fired him because of some innocuous comments he had made about Muslims on The Factor. He had merely confessed that he gets nervous when he sees Muslims in full regalia at the airport. Well, with apologies to Steve Martin, excuuussse me. But if Muslims aren’t supposed to make us nervous at airports, why do I have to stand in line for an hour going through security, remove my shoes, belt, keys and wallet, and flash my ID 27 times before boarding an airplane?

Is it, perhaps, because those darn Swedes are acting up again? Is it possible that those rascally Aussies are planning an invasion? Or have the Amish finally decided it’s high time we all got rid of our cars and phones, and started getting around in horse-drawn surreys, the way God intended? One can almost hear their blood-curdling battle cry: “Today, Pennsylvania; tomorrow, the world!”

Everyone who has the good fortune not to be Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar or any of those other politically correct creeps on the left, knows that most of the worst mischief being caused all around the globe has Allah at its source. Does that mean that every Muslim is a terrorist? Of course not. Some of them merely fund the terrorism.

We should never lose sight of the fact that not every Russian was a Communist and not every German was a Nazi. But enough of them were, so that tens of millions of innocent people died before the reigns of terror ended. And just because a Muslim isn’t cold-blooded enough to be a killer of women and children doesn’t mean they disapprove of those who are. Otherwise, why have so many of them cheered on Arafat, bin Laden and Ahmadinejad, and why have so few, even here in America, spoken out against the butchers who act in the name of their religion?

Be all that as it may, it was my friend, Ron Radosh, who contended in an early morning email that NPR had wanted to unload Williams ever since he spoke out against the NAACP and the racist policy it adopted after its glory days in the 60s. These days, the NAACP is as anti-white and as leftwing as any group in America. But how would it look, Radosh mused, if NPR axed a black man for speaking out against a black group? But once Williams voiced his rather benign comments about Muslims, it provided NPR with the perfect cover to do what they’d been aching to do for the past year.

Speaking of the NAACP, isn’t it rather insensitive for them to continue calling themselves the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People? Even David Duke doesn’t call them colored people. I guess the reason they don’t change “Colored People” to “African Americans” is that the NAAAA sounds too much like an auto club.

One thing I hope a Republican House will do is to finally quit funding NPR with our tax dollars. They don’t have to say it’s because National Public Radio does nothing but parrot whatever crapola it’s fed by the DNC. To disguise their true motives, they can follow NPR’s sneaky example and merely blame it on the economy.

When, later in the day, Radosh praised Juan Williams for speaking out against NPR for firing him, I suggested he was over-reacting. Mr. Williams is neither a martyr nor a hero. For one thing, before the day was over, Fox had extended his contract and given him a raise. I am betting he will also get his own show, although between his regular appearances with Bret Baier, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Greta Van Susteren, I’m betting he already has more camera time than any of them.

Furthermore, nothing had changed during those 24 hours except that NPR had fired him. He had been quite happy to cash their checks for several years in spite of NPR’s being nothing but a propaganda machine for the loony left. There was nothing noble or heroic about Williams biting the hand that had fed him so well. It was merely a case of sour grapes. It’s much like the career criminal who finally sees the error of his ways…once the handcuffs have been slapped on his wrists.

I do have a question, though. For years, the definition of a conservative was a liberal who’d been mugged. I wonder if now that he’s been mugged, Juan Williams will finally see the light.

But for those of you who don’t believe Radosh when he suggests that NPR had been biding its time, waiting for a politically correct excuse to dump Williams without alienating its fan base of unrepentant 65-year-old hippies, I’ll whisper just two little words: Helen Thomas.

Don’t you suspect that the Hearst organization was overjoyed when she made her vile comments about Jews and Israel? I’m betting there were champagne corks popping all over the home office.

Or do you really think they wanted their White House correspondent to be a nasty, senile 90-year-old crone whose face had been stopping clocks and frightening children all over Washington, D.C, for the previous 20 years?

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