From The Comedy Store
Senate Democrats blamed the massive federal budget deficits on Republican tax cuts last Friday in TV interviews. They said the wealthy aren’t paying enough taxes to meet the nation’s needs. Democrats believe it is okay to be rich as long as you just feel awful about it.
The Texas legislature passed a law raising the speed limit to eighty-five miles an hour. They already let you have an open beer in the car and let you carry a gun. The idea is to make life on the highway so much fun you wouldn’t think of texting while driving.
The U.S. Court of Appeals in San Francisco struck down Arizona’s illegal immigration law allowing cops to check citizenship. It was applauded in Los Angeles. Now that the all the illegal aliens can go back to Arizona, Dodger Stadium will be safe for baseball again.
President Obama insisted he’s not a golf addict at a speech to editors in Washington. We know how this ends. This summer his wife and daughters will tour Europe while he spends twenty-eight days at the Jerry Ford Center for the Treatment of Golf Abuse.
Barack Obama refused to sign a bill paying U.S. troops, forcing them to either fight for free or be court-martialed. It’s hilarious. Leave it to America’s first black president to bring back slavery on the one hundred and fiftieth anniversary of the Civil War.
The Sons of Confederate Veterans held ceremonies Tuesday marking the one hundred fiftieth anniversary of the Civil War. It had to be fought. It settled once and for all the great moral issue in America whether farm work should be done by slaves or illegal aliens.
Senate Democrats blamed the massive federal budget deficits on Republican tax cuts last Friday in TV interviews. They said the wealthy aren’t paying enough taxes to meet the nation’s needs. Democrats believe it is okay to be rich as long as you just feel awful about it.
President Obama told a New York City crowd that he just recently finished paying off his student loans. That helps. The first job of the President of the United States is to protect this country while his second job is to assure China that he’s good for the loan.
House Republicans and Senate Democrats finally reached a budget deal five minutes before a midnight government shutdown late Friday. Hundreds of jobs were lost due to the length of the negotiations. It was the slowest night of the year for D.C. escort services.
The White House ripped Donald Trump for always harping about President Obama’s birth certificate. Democrats did get some good news. Donald Trump just had his annual physical and the doctor told him he was as sound as the dollar, so he can’t last much longer.
North Korea detained the third U.S. citizen caught hiking into North Korea from China last week. Iran also detained U.S. citizens hiking over their border. When you apply to join the CIA the first thing they ask you is whether you have ever experienced back trouble.
Washington D.C. Mayor Vince Gray waved to cheering crowds as he emerged from jail after being arrested while protesting the GOP budget cuts. He fought the Republicans and lost but he came home a hero. Some Civil War reenactments are more realistic than others.
Congressman Paul Ryan ripped President Obama’s speech Wednesday, saying it was a campaign speech not a debt reduction plan. It’s getting personal. President Obama said Congressman Ryan’s debt reduction plan would starve Americans, and he promised that job to Michelle.
President Obama urged people with large families to save energy by driving hybrid vans. No automaker makes hybrid vans. You could say it really isn’t the president’s job to know if there are hybrid vans except that he’s been running General motors for two years.
© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton
