Wonderful Christian teacher and preacher Alistair Begg is a reformed evangelical. He has been very clear and consistent on his position towards the morality of LGBTQ+ — that position being that homosexuality is a sin and that marriage is between a man and a woman.

However, in one of his podcasts, he was answering a question from a grandmother who was clearly in deep distress. Her grandson was marrying a “transgender” individual. She wants to love her grandson but does not want to affirm a union that is anti-biblical. Begg, weighing the nuances of the situation and hearing her heart cry, cautioned her with this practical advice: First, the grandmother, along with her husband, had to work out in fear and trembling with God what the ultimate correct action would be. Next, she needed to make her position clear that, should she attend the wedding, it was out of love for her grandson, not out of affirmation for the marriage itself or the lifestyle choice associated with it. Finally, and most controversially, he advised her to go to the wedding and even bring a gift.

“Here’s the thing,” Begg said. “Your love for them may catch them off guard, but your absence will simply reinforce the fact that they said, ‘These people are what I always thought: judgmental, critical, unprepared to countenance anything.’ And it is a fine line, isn’t it? It really is. And people need to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling. But I think we’re going to take that risk. We’re going to have to take that risk a lot more if we want to build bridges into the hearts and lives of those who don’t understand Jesus and don’t understand that he is a King.”

This sparked a larger debate in the Christian community, and the responses ranged from kind but confused to demanding that Begg review and repent of giving drastically wrong advice.

As seminary professor and author Robert Gagnon eloquently points out: “From a biblical perspective, attendance at a gay or transgender wedding is no more an agree-to-disagree point of practice than is a Christian attending the marriage between a man and his mother, or a Christian going to an idol’s temple as a non-worshipper to maintain contacts. There is no faithful early Christian leader who would have advocated such attendance. Remember that in a transgender or gay union, the parties declare their intent to sin without remorse as long as they live and invite attendees to celebrate that commitment with them.”

For his part, Begg doubled down on his position in a sermon entitled “Compassion vs. Condemnation.” He used the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:1-32) to explain his position and response to the grandmother. He talked about the father in the story celebrating the son he thought was lost, the son returning (making that the example of representing the grandmother showing love to her grandson), and the sin of not giving grace by the older brother (cautioning people not to be legalistic and pharisaical like the brother).

With all due respect, this particular biblical example is not a correct one to use because the prodigal son comes home, repents, and begs for forgiveness from the father. The prodigal son didn’t expect to be welcomed as a son; he only hoped to be treated with the same dignity granted to the lowest of his father’s servants. The prodigal son’s repentance is a massive key part of the parable. It cannot apply to going to an LGBTQ+ wedding because, as Professor Gagnon so aptly put it, that wedding is the public announcement of “their intent to sin without remorse as long as they live.”

Begg is a Christian voice who can be trusted and is still sound in his biblical teaching and reasoning. The first piece of advice to the grandmother — using discernment from the Lord first and foremost in the decision-making — is paramount. As is making it clear to the grandson her position on his “marriage” and that she does not affirm his sinful choice but that does not mean she doesn’t love him.

That said, attending the wedding ceremony — because of what marriage truly means and because of what attendance also means — would still be celebrating sin. Loving that grandchild and showing him Christ’s love can be done in many other ways without causing you to stumble and fall into sin. In this transgenderism case, loving the grandson is not lying to him or encouraging a delusion.

Christian podcaster Allie Beth Stuckey reminded her audience, “We cannot out-love God.” What she means is that attending an LGBTQ+ wedding ceremony that is antithetical to God’s design is conforming to the world’s definition of love and compassion. God’s love is about truth. He doesn’t need us to compromise on His behalf.

Jesus did sit with sinners. He broke bread with tax collectors and prostitutes. He reached out to the marginalized in his society as well as the rich and affluent. However, he did not condone their sin and often told them to repent. Jesus, in speaking truth to the sinful woman at the well in John 4, causes her to believe. That truth told in kindness while not condoning sin caused a sinner to turn and believe. That is the Love of the Jesus of the Bible.

As Owen Strachen, research professor of theology at Grace Bible Theological Seminary, writes: “Alistair Begg is a good and godly man, and we all falter just like him. Yet the stakes of public teaching are high, very high indeed. Not many should become teachers for just this reason (James 3:1). Leading a little one astray, for example, is a disastrous reality (Matthew 18:6). None of us preaches or teaches perfectly; only Jesus hit that mark. Nonetheless, we must all strive to hit the biblical mark, and offer confession and repentance — publicly, yes, as men in ministry — when we fail.”

In the case of LGBTQ+ weddings, what makes this particularly difficult is the fact that these are sometimes our loved ones and friends. However, marriage is the fundamental building block of the family. It has a particular meaning and a gravitas that cannot be taken idly as a Christian. Marriage is the earthly allegory to the heavenly marriage between Christ and his church. It’s holy and sacred. It should not be taken lightly or attended flippantly.