Whatever pharmaceutical cocktail Joe Biden’s handlers have in store for him tonight had better be a good one. We say this because there’s an awful lot riding on tonight’s State of the Union speech, which Biden will deliver at 9 p.m. ET in the Capitol building before the customary Joint Session of Congress.

The SOTU is, of course, a president’s most eagerly anticipated public address, even though this vehicle has, over the years, come to embody a lot more fragrance than substance. In Biden’s case, it’s an opportunity to reset public perceptions about both the job he’s done so far and the now-overwhelming public perception that he’s too old to run for a second term. Indeed, a recent New York Times/Siena College poll found that 73% of registered voters think he’s too old to run again. More alarming yet, the poll found that Donald Trump would beat Biden handily in the popular vote if the election were held today.

How high are the stakes? A recent Fox News poll asked whether Joe Biden’s policies are helping, hurting, or not making a difference. The findings? Just 25% of people said the president’s policies are helping, while 48% said they’re hurting, and 27% said they’re not making a difference. Further, only 14% of Americans say they have more money in their pocket this year compared to last year, while a whopping 57% said the opposite is true. And 58% said Joe Biden’s policies have made America weaker, while only 36% said they’ve made America stronger. Our only question: What are those 36% smoking?

But if the stakes are high, then so too will be Biden’s penchant for lying — especially in the areas of jobs, inflation, illegal immigration, and crime, each of which is a major concern for the American people, and each of which represents a serious weakness in Biden’s record. And if you’re looking for “tells” from which to determine whether the president is dissembling, we suggest listening for two telltale words: “and” and “the.”

“It’s going to be a moment that’s incredibly important to him,” said White House Press Secretary Karine “The Binder” Jean-Pierre on Tuesday. “He’s looking forward to … talking about the accomplishments that he’s made the last three years and also the vision that he has for this country.”

We can’t wait. If Biden’s recent comments about so-called shrinkflation are any indication, we’re in for a real treat. Here’s how he put it Tuesday to his White House Competition Council: “Some of the small snack companies think you won’t even notice what they are doing when they charge you just as much for the same size bag of potato chips, only there’s a hell of a lot fewer chips in it.”

And then this: “I’ll tell you who did notice: the Cookie Monster. He pointed out his cookies are getting smaller, but he’s paying the same price. I was stunned when I found out that’s what actually happened.”

Imagine that. A president spends trillions of dollars we don’t have, and he’s “stunned” to find out that we now have far more dollars chasing far fewer goods and services. And he’s invoking the expertise of a (taxpayer-funded) Muppet to make his point.

We suspect we’ll also hear Joe Biden talk about gun control because that’s what Herr Doktor Jill Biden, Ed.D., was talking about on Tuesday at the National Parent Teacher Association’s legislative conference.

We can also expect him to talk about the issue that has become the Democrats’ bread and butter: abortion. Indeed, one of the first couple’s honored guests tonight will be Katie Cox, the Texas woman who left her state last year to have an abortion and is now suing her home state.

In addition, we can be sure that Biden will talk about the dreaded MAGA Republicans and their grave Threat to Our Democracy™. Longtime Biden stooge Mike Donilon says that in the weeks and months ahead, the campaign’s focus “will become overwhelming on democracy.” (It’s a republic, but whatever.) Remarkably, though, despite all of Biden’s demonization on democracy, he and Trump are now in a statistical tie as to which of them will safeguard “democracy and rule of law.”

Normally, we’d suggest a drinking game here, but folks would likely be lit 20 minutes into the speech.

But while the president will likely talk at length about all these topics, we’ll venture that there’s one topic and one name that he’ll steer clear of entirely: illegal alien crime and Laken Riley, both of which our Mark Alexander covered recently.

As Texas Congressman Chip Roy said yesterday: “What you will not hear from the president of the United States tomorrow in the House chamber … you will not hear him talking about Laken Riley. You will not hear him talk about their lives. You will not hear him talking about the two-year-old who was killed in Montgomery County right outside of DC or the young lady who was raped in Louisiana by someone who was here illegally. All of these individuals were released into the United States under this president’s broken policies. He’s not going to want to talk about that human face.”

House Speaker Mike Johnson engaged in a bit of a pre-buttal this week when he predicted what Joe Biden would say tonight, and why what he’d say wasn’t so:

During his address, President Biden is going to try to suggest that the state of the union is strong, and we expect, as it was said, that he’s going to say this is a time for a reset. But of course, the state of the union is not strong. And everybody around the country knows it, and everybody in this room knows it. It doesn’t matter what political party you’re in or where you lean on the political spectrum. You look at objective facts, and you know: This country is not in good shape because of its leadership in the White House. And that’s why at this point in his term, President Biden is the least popular president in modern history.

If you’re wondering how Biden’s presumptive 2024 Republican challenger will be spending the evening, wonder no more. “I am pleased to inform you,” posted Donald Trump on Truth Social, “that tomorrow night we will be doing a LIVE, Play by Play, of Crooked Joe Biden’s State of the Union Address. I will correct, in rapid response, any and all inaccurate Statements, especially pertaining to the Border and his Weaponization of the DOJ, FBI, A.G.s, and District Attorneys, to go after his Political Opponent, ME (something never done before in this Country!). We did this once before to tremendous success — Beating All Records. It is important for the Country to get the TRUTH!”

Trump is fresh off a 14-for-15 Super Tuesday performance, and he’ll likely lock up the nomination before month’s end. Thus, unless the Democrats pull a fast one at their convention and somehow shoo Biden and VP Kamala Harris off the ticket, we’re looking at a rematch of 2020.

Only this time, Joe Biden has a presidential record to ponder. And tonight, he’ll need to make the case that he merits reelection. Talk about a heavy lift.