Non Compos Mentis

“Violent crime is even used when people are accused of burglary and there happens to be a housing unit in that same dwelling. So violence is an artificial construction. And we have to be very clear that what is happening here with these district attorneys, that is violence. That is violence of the highest degree.” —New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani, 2021

Braying Jenny

“The idea that [America] is a white nation that must be preserved is a fascinatingly disgusting view because this country is one for the many.” —Rep Ilhan Omar

Touché

“When I was a young United States Marine, I did not have a beard. I am now the vice president. So I get to do what I want to do.” —JD Vance

For the Record

“It’s one thing to say that we should solve the healthcare crisis for Americans. It’s another thing to say that we’re gonna shut down the government unless we give … billions of dollars of taxpayer funding for healthcare [to] illegal migrants. That’s ridiculous.” —JD Vance

“Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is, ‘You’re stupid and made a bad decision.’ That’s the bottom line of this Democrat government shutdown.” —Sen. John Kennedy

“We should use this government shutdown as a chance to shrink government permanently. Privatize the TSA. Privatize the FAA air traffic controllers. Abolish the IRS. Remove ‘non-essential’ workers. If workers aren’t essential, they shouldn’t be working in government in the first place.” —Charlie Kirk, January 2019

Belly Laugh of the Day

“I make this solemn promise to [Hakeem Jeffries] that if you help us reopen the government, the sombrero memes will stop.” —JD Vance

Village Idiot

“He’s an idiot. He’s a total idiot. He’s not my president. I will never call him the president of the United States.” —actor Michael Shannon

And Last…

“President Trump is the dealmaker. I don’t want him teaching my daughter’s dadgum Sunday school class but I love him at Pennsylvania Avenue. He knows how to cut a deal.” —Rep. Tim Burchett