Rewriting History

“Those [European] explorers ushered in a wave of devastation for tribal nations, perpetrating violence, stealing land, and spreading disease. We must not shy away from this shameful past.” —Kamala Harris

Pot Calling the Kettle Black

“I’ve become increasingly concerned about the rising wave of authoritarianism sweeping the globe. We’re seeing politicians target civil society, undermine freedom of the press, weaponize the justice system. And no one is being spared.” —Barack Obama

Re: Peace in the Middle East

“Today the skies are calm. The guns are silent. The sirens are still. And the sun rises on a Holy Land that is finally at peace.” —Donald Trump

“It’s the moment of my life.” —Special Envoy Steve Witkoff when asked about what the Israel-Hamas peace deal means to him

For the Record

“It should now be clear to everyone throughout the region that decades of fomenting terrorism and extremism, jihadism and anti-Semitism, have not worked. … From Gaza to Iran, those bitter hatreds have delivered nothing but misery, suffering, failure, and death.” —Donald Trump

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

“Why aren’t all the people who spent two years demanding a Gaza ceasefire celebrating all over America and all around the world? Isn’t this exactly what they wanted? It’s almost as if they are all just liars who hate Jews and Israel.” —Clay Travis

Re: The Schumer Shutdown

“Chuck Schumer is incapable of telling the truth right now.” —House Speaker Mike Johnson

“I’m a very patient guy, but I have had it with these people. They are playing games with real people’s lives. [T]hey have a ‘Hate America’ rally that’s scheduled for October 18th on the National Mall. It’s all the pro-Hamas wing and the antifa people — they’re all coming out. Some of the House Democrats are selling T-shirts for the event. And it’s being told to us that they won’t be able to reopen the government until after that rally because they can’t face their rabid base. … I’m beyond words. I can’t believe they’re actually doing this.” —Speaker Mike Johnson

“My Democratic friends are trying to muddy the water to make it look deep — but this shutdown is entirely because of their unreasonable demands.” —Sen. John Kennedy

Re: The Left

“The contradiction at the heart of communism has always been this: it promises freedom from responsibility and consequence, which seduces the weak of mind and soul, but it can only be sustained through force, which crushes both freedom and conscience. When those two realities meet — seduction and coercion — they annihilate each other. What’s left is the gray, lifeless wreckage of a society that has traded liberty for equality and wound up with nothing but shared misery.” —Michael Smith

“If I can’t trust you not to put a boy in a teenage girl’s locker room, how will I ever listen to your plan for taxes and the economy? I will not, because I’ve already concluded you’re a lunatic.” —Scott Jennings

Belly Laughs of the Day

“Democrats saying your healthcare is too expensive is like Bill Cosby saying your drink is too strong.” —Jimmy Failla

“Trump: I should get the Nobel Peace Prize. Nobel Committee: We’re awarding it to someone else. Someone else: I dedicate this prize to Trump. You love to see it.” —Michael Knowles

And Last…

“Happy 32nd birthday, Charlie.” —Andrew Kolvet, executive producer of “The Charlie Kirk Show”