The BIG Lie

“The idea that politics would play a role in big cases like this — it’s absolutely ludicrous.” —former Special Counsel/anti-Trump inquisitor Jack Smith

Yellow Journalism

“In Tel Aviv, watching the sunset at the beach on Sunday, hours before the expected exchange of hostages between Israel and Hamas.” —a New York Times image caption asserting Israel had Palestinian “hostages,” not Islamic terrorists

Weird Flex

“[Andrew Cuomo] couldn’t name a single mosque at the last debate we had that he visited. And what Muslims want in this city is what every community wants and deserves. They want equality and they want respect. And it took me to get you to even see those Muslims as part of this city.” —New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani

Stranger Than Fiction

“Black people, brown people of all stripes, whether you’re an Indian American or a Mexican American or whoever you are, go out in your place where you live and get a gun legally. Get a license to carry legally. Because when you have people knocking on your door, and taking you away without due process as a citizen, isn’t that what the Second Amendment was written for?” —Don Lemon arguing for armed people to fight back against ICE

“The tables will turn someday. [Immigration agents] should recognize that maybe they’re not going to be prosecuted today, although we’re looking at doing that, but they may get prosecuted after the Trump administration … because the statute of limitations won’t have run.” —Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker wanting to prosecute enforcers of U.S. sovereignty

Spin Doctor

“House Republicans are nowhere to be found. Literally have been on vacation for three consecutive weeks, have canceled votes for three consecutive weeks. They are in the legislative witness protection program.” —House Democrat Leader Hakeem Jeffries, whose party shut down the government

Lack of Self-Awareness Award

“The notion … that the Democratic Party consists of terrorists, violent criminals, and undocumented immigrants just … makes no sense.” —Rep. Hakeem Jeffries

Re: The Left

“The Marxists, the socialists, the Antifa advocates, the anarchists, and the pro-Hamas wing of the far-left Democrat Party — that is the modern Democratic Party.” —House Speaker Mike Johnson

For the Record

“I have not lived with my wife since late March because of death threats against me. And now there are reporters out there trying to find the location of my family. There are reporters trying to identify who my sons are. I mean, this has gone beyond the pale.” —border czar Tom Homan

Exactly

“You cannot change your sex. That’s a lie. Selling children that lie harms thousands of American children and families forever.” —Assistant Attorney General for the Civil Rights Division Harmeet Dhillon

“If AI is helping us find new cures for new diseases, that’s great. If it’s helping us come up with increasingly weird porn, that’s bad.” —JD Vance

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

“How interested am I supposed to be in the issue of climate change when even Greta Thunberg got bored with it?” —Jim Geraghty

Belly Laugh of the Day

“The only … part of Halloween I didn’t like was when you went to the trouble to trick-or-treat a house, and instead of real candy, by which I mean chocolate, they gave you some lame ‘treat’ such as raisins, which are practically a vegetable; or licorice, which tastes like insect repellent; or ‘Necco wafers,’ which are not candy at all but mislabeled sidewalk chalk; or ‘circus peanuts,’ which look like radioactive dog turds. But other than that, I loved Halloween.” —Dave Barry