Weird Flex

“You could almost make a case that the true inheritor of the Sanders revolution is Trump. He’s the most socialist president of my lifetime.” —Jon Stewart

Braying Jenny

“JD Vance wants to be president more than anything else. I always wonder what’s going on in the mind of his wife. Like, are you OK? Please blink four times. We’ll come over here. We’ll save you.” —former White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki

“He’s scarier in certain ways [than Trump] … and he’s young and ambitious and agile in the sense that he is a chameleon.” —Jen Psaki on JD Vance

Non Compos Mentis

“The fact that I have to spend even a moment’s time talking about somebody else’s text messages from years ago … is something that I am deeply unhappy about.” —Virginia gubernatorial candidate Abigail Spanberger on AG candidate Jay Jones’s call for the deaths of Republicans

“There’s a lot of people who’ve never met a trans person. … And so there’s a real effort to engage in some level of fearmongering.” —Abigail Spanberger

Godwin’s Law

“This is what happened. People’s rights started getting taken away. People got accused of being ‘immigrants.’ This is before the Holocaust really took place. … This is how authoritarian regimes do it.” —Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker

The BIG Lie

“Democrats are not for open border[s].” —Gov. JB Pritzker

Straight From the Horse’s Mouth

“This does suck, and I’m sorry that we’re actually putting you in this situation.” —Sen. Ruben Gallego (D-AZ) admitting that Democrats are harming their constituents

A Blind Squirrel Finds a Nut

“You’re blaming the Republicans for the shutdown. But in point of fact, it’s the Democrats in the Senate who are refusing to vote for the clean continuing resolution to fund the government for seven weeks.” —CNN’s Jake Tapper to House Minority Whip Katherine Clark

Truth Bomb

“What the Democrats have accomplished in nine and a half months is a government shutdown. … They have made a lot of TikTok videos — we’ll give them credit for that. They’ve also assaulted law enforcement officers. … They’ve openly embraced and rallied with communists and socialists. … They voted to raise taxes on millions of hardworking Americans at the worst possible time. They have voted against reducing fraud, waste, and abuse in government.” —House Speaker Mike Johnson

Political Futures

“If Zohran Mamdani is elected mayor and implements the changes he is promising, expect the city’s financial condition and public safety to deteriorate rapidly. … In such a crisis, desperate New Yorkers will look to Albany, where the governor has virtually unlimited power to curb the mayor’s authority or remove him, even if no crime has been committed.” —Betsy McCaughey

For the Record

“An overwhelming majority of IVF-created human lives are put on ice or destroyed as a result of the process. … Millions of unborn human lives that are (at best) put on ice or (at worst) destroyed, far outpacing the number of abortions performed in the United States every year. The issue with IVF is not IVF itself, but the embryos that are created and never implanted as a direct consequence of IVF.” —Ian Haworth

And Last…

“The ballroom is going to be glorious. It’s gonna be used for everybody. And by the way, hey, Democrats, if you win the White House back, you get to use it too.” —Speaker Mike Johnson