Who Wants to Tell Him?

“It especially bothers me being brought up Catholic … that Christianity has been co-opted and perverted in such a way. … I think about what Jesus would think of this stuff.” —Jimmy Kimmel

Tone-Deaf

“It’s carefully thought through. … We’re confident it’s going to be a great [halftime] show.” —NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell regarding crossdresser “Bad Bunny”

Non Compos Mentis

“My politics is built on a belief in human rights for all people, and that extends … to queer and trans Ugandans.” —NYC mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani

Friendly Fire

“You have never had a job. You’ve never accomplished anything. There’s no reason to believe you have any merit or qualification for eight and a half million lives. You don’t know how to run a government. You don’t know how to handle an emergency. And you’ve literally never proposed a bill on anything that you’re not talking about in your campaign. You had the worst attendance record in the Assembly, and you gave yourselves the highest raise in the United States of America. You went from $110,000 to $140,000, and then you never showed up for work and you missed 80% of the votes.” —former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo roasting Zohran Mamdani

Braying Jenny

“Stephen Miller is a white supremacist. … And even though he’s Jewish, he’s like a Nazi Jew.” —podcaster Jennifer Welch

Inciting Violence

“My fantasy dream is that this nightmare ends in 2029, and I think we ought to have radical things. I think they all ought to have their heads shaven, they should be put in orange pajamas, and they should be marched down Pennsylvania Avenue, and the public should be invited to spit on them. All of these [Trump] collaborators should be shaved, pajamaed, and spit on. It’s a moral judgement.” —Democrat strategist James Carville

“Donald Trump has changed things, and people trying to do what’s always been done is not going to work. … If you hit me in my face, I’m not going to punch you back in your face; I’m going to go across your neck, because we can go back and forth fighting each other’s faces. You’ve got to hit hard enough where they won’t come back. … If they’re going to try to wipe us out in Texas, we need to wipe out every Republican in New York, in California, in Illinois.” —Texas State Rep. Jolanda Jones

Pearl-Clutching

“People are actually upset that [Trump is] getting rid of DEI? He’s erasing white history, too, by tearing down the East Wing of the White House. He is attacking everyone. He is attacking U.S. citizens. He is at war with America, and we need to stand up. We need to bow up.” —Jolanda Jones

Weird Flex

“My dad would not have pardoned me if President Trump had not won.” —Hunter Biden

Grandstanding

“I’m not gonna just sit back while [Trump is] literally turning this country into a dictatorial regime.” —Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker

Pot Calling the Kettle Black

“It’s hard to fathom someone more out of touch and oblivious to our nation’s struggles than the current president.” —Senate Democrat Leader Chuck Schumer, a 74-year-old millionaire and career politician

Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud

“Shutdowns are terrible, and of course there will be families that are going to suffer. We take that responsibility very seriously. But it is one of the few leverage times we have.” —Democrat House Whip Katherine Clark

Re: The Left

“What is this shutdown fight about? It’s about the permanent expansion of government, as Democrats demand that temporary, ‘emergency’ spending become baseline spending. And this specific battle has been coming since Obamacare passed 15 years ago.” —Byron York

“It’s a perfect plot twist: a self-declared ‘anti-fascist supersoldier’ discovers that he accidentally carved a Nazi symbol onto his chest, and then has to simultaneously denounce himself and try to make a desperate pivot to ‘Medicare for All.’ Reddit leftism in a nutshell.” —Christopher F. Rufo commenting on the Graham Platner hullabaloo

“The silver lining is that No Kings flushed out many violent leftists who couldn’t help but expose themselves publicly. Their egos and morbid glee got the better of them. These dark souls will now enjoy a well-deserved visit from law enforcement for inciting political violence.” —Andrew Kolvet

Worthy Reminder

“Conservatism has never been about power or tribal victory. It’s about conserving what’s good and true — regardless of what’s trending, or how much it might cost us.” —Seth Dillon

For the Record

“In the last three days, Donald Trump has done more construction work, just at the White House [than] has been done in all of Pacific Palisades in nearly a year.” —Kurt Schlichter