Persona Non Grata

“Wouldn’t it be the most perfect MAGA fairy tail if [JD Vance] finally sees the light that he needs a white queen [Erika Kirk] instead of this brown Hindu?” —political pundit Joy Reid

Lack of Self-Awareness Awards

“I know that Donald Trump will probably come after me again, and my attitude is going to be the same. I’m innocent, I am not afraid, and I believe in an independent federal judiciary.” —former FBI Director James Comey

“A message has to be sent that the president of the United States cannot use the Department of Justice to target his political enemies.” —James Comey

The BIG Lie

“It’s always a relief when a branch of government does their job! This is a win for Comey & AG James, but ALSO the American people! Sadly, in Trump’s America, it is clear that we all must now pray for the safety of the Judge. In Trump’s America, following the law is an act of courage… while breaking the law, on his behalf, is demanded.” —Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX)

Braying Jenny

“Somalis have always seen themselves as a fabric of this nation.” —Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN)

Eat the Rich?

“If you can’t live in a country with a 40% tax rate on your income above a half-million dollars, then go, dude; we don’t need you. Go somewhere else. … Go to Switzerland.” —Democrat strategist James Carville

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

“I want us to be able to vote by phone.” —Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA)

Gender Cultist

“As women who can give birth — men and women who can give birth — we can maybe leverage that as collective bargaining.” —Tennessee congressional candidate Aftyn Behn (D) in 2020

Celebrating Terrorists

“[Convicted cop killer] Imam Jamil Al-Amin was a hero of the civil rights movement and a victim of injustice who passed away in a prison, jailed for a crime he did not commit. We pray that God rewards him with paradise for his good deeds and the injustices he suffered.” —CAIR National Executive Director Nihad Awad

Tone Down the Rhetoric

“Calling your opponents traitors and then specifically saying that it warrants the death penalty is reckless, inappropriate, irresponsible. There are a number of other ways to describe it, but it’s not something that is helping the country heal wounds.” —Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) on President Trump’s recent comments

Things to Be Thankful For

“When the Pilgrims got cold, they had to chop wood and burn it. Today, you push a button on your thermostat. Going to see family? Airplanes use fossil fuels. The iPhone you use to FaceTime Grandma wouldn’t exist without the power provided by fossil fuels. … Without fossil fuels, Thanksgiving dinner and everything else in American life would look entirely different — and not in a good way.” —Victor Joecks

“Jeffrey Epstein’s reach was as wide and as potent as the Medellin drug cartel, and the poison that he administered as lethal. … Evil people have hidden in the shadows, protected by the idea that their power would keep them in those shadows forever. It’s time to shine the light so that these victims, real victims, will finally be seen. And as we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, this is one very important reason to give thanks.” —Christine Flowers

Belly Laughs of the Day

“The turkeys being pardoned today go by the names of Gobble and Waddle. When I first saw their pictures … I was going to call them Chuck and Nancy — but then I realized I wouldn’t be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people.” —Donald Trump

“Why are you getting a pardon? What did you do wrong?” —Fox News’s Peter Doocy grilling Waddle the Turkey ahead of its presidential pardon