Can’t Fix Stupid

“Mark Kelly is a patriot. … Secretary Hegseth, all these guys: [screw] you guys. You’re not gonna be able to scare us. … We have a right to tell other service members that they have a right to ignore illegal orders.” —Sen. Ruben Gallego (D-AZ)

Braying Jennies

“I’m so sick of these pundits that wear the flag pin on their suit. It doesn’t make you a bigger patriot, big boy. It makes you look like a [wuss].” —podcaster Jennifer Welch

“[Illegal aliens] are what make this country great, not your thuggish ICE agents.” —Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX)

Non Compos Mentis

“My therapist always asks me to transcribe my dreams when they happen, and the recurring dream I’ve had is standing up in a cafeteria full of women … and saying, ‘I don’t want children. I want power.’” —Tennessee congressional candidate Aftyn Behn

“Talking to our parents about what police abolition looks like … we can do it, and there is a world.” —Aftyn Behn

“As someone who is more secular, I have a hard time when religion is at the core of everything we do in the legislature. And so, for example, on the House floor, we say a prayer every session. Some committees open up with prayer … And there are also prayer groups in the legislature that meet routinely. There are Christian pastors that have a lot of say and proximity to power in the legislature and dictate a lot of what the power players do. And it is uncomfortable.” —Aftyn Behn

Rainbow Mafia

“We’re going to make this a city that doesn’t just protect trans kids but also celebrates and cherishes them.” —New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani

For the Record

“On Instagram or Facebook, misgendering a trans person resulted in an immediate ban, but trafficking child prostitution allowed 17 strikes!” —Elon Musk

“Radical trans activists don’t believe in democracy. They want an autocracy where no one can oppose their dictates. It’s not my way or the highway — it’s my way or ‘burn America down to the ground.’” —Tim Graham

Re: The Left

“Governors in ‘sanctuary’ states are ordering law enforcement officers, voting officials, prison administrators, department of motor vehicles workers, and others: Don’t do your job.” —Ann Coulter

“When you see the state of Somalia, that’s what they want for America at the end of the day. … Look how powerful the Democrat Party became in Minnesota once they flooded it with 100,000 Somalians.” —White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy Stephen Miller

Upright

“We need to seize their assets … know who they are so that they will never, ever be able to get back in our country again, and deport [them] as fast as possible.” —Rep. Tim Burchett (R-TN) on Somalis faking autism for handouts

And Last…

“Young women should not feel like they’re walking into a death trap on public transit because delinquent Dem leadership would rather defend a lunatic’s right to prowl and terrorize freely than her right not to be lit on fire.” —Caroline Downey