Theater of the Absurd

“I feel a deep unease about the celebrations to which I am invited to mark the 250th anniversary of our so-called democracy.” —MS NOW’s Ali Velshi

Shot/Chaser

“Look, ICE raids — controversial. Always have been, always will be.” —CNN’s Abby Phillip

“Not really. When Obama was doing them, it wasn’t controversial. You guys did ride-alongs.” —Ben Ferguson

Friendly Fire

“They’re trying to change the tape in people’s minds about who [Jill Biden] is … that’s why she’s sort of changing her tune a little bit about her [2024 presidential debate] reaction in real time. She wants to say, ‘Oh no, my reaction was just as concerning and was just as severe as everyone at home. I was shocked.’” —former Jill Biden spokesman Michael LaRosa

Re: The Left

“[Texas Senate candidate James Talarico] opposed a bill to ban men from women’s sports, saying that ‘God is non-binary.’ Don’t be deceived by wicked politicians spouting lies like this.” —Rev. Franklin Graham

“If 2026 has proven anything, it’s that there’s virtually nothing a left-wing candidate could say or do that would elicit condemnation from Democrats if doing so threatened their power. … I am constantly being assured that Democrats are the adults in the room. I’m supposed to believe that self-styled socialists are not only going to uphold norms, decency, and democratic institutions but also improve the economic conditions of Americans. That contention clashes with every shred of historical evidence we possess. Democrats had a chance to be normal. They chose crazy.” —David Harsanyi

“Elon Musk is not the enemy, people. He’s not the enemy. He’s the guy who creates jobs, pays taxes, and keeps the lights on. Then there’s street thugs who whack people with machetes when they’re walking down the street. That’s the enemy there, not the hero.” —comedian Adam Carolla

“The Democratic Party wants to erase America’s unique culture through mass migration, because it’s easier to rule over a people that are culturally balkanized.” —Rep. Brandon Gill (R-TX)

For the Record

“Scientists publish studies today … and we (and even our doctors) take them for granted. But then when other scientists ask the same questions and perform the same experiments, they do not come up with the same results. That means that a lot of the science we (and our doctors) take for granted is not actually true.” —Jay Bhattacharya on the replication crisis

Upright

“Before declaring victory or securing peace, America must determine whether the objective that justified that cost has actually been achieved. The challenge is not simply securing peace, but securing a peace that permanently removes Iran’s pathway to a nuclear weapon. Getting this wrong could leave future generations confronting an even more dangerous threat under far less favorable circumstances.” —Tony Perkins

“I don’t like this idea, ‘Government’s losing revenue.’ It’s not their money. It’s your money. Okay? Government is just not taking as much. You’re getting constitutional protection for your property. That’s a good thing, and we’ve got to see it through the lens of the taxpayer and the homeowner.” —Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R)

“It would be better for boys if society stopped expecting them to act like girls.” —Victor Joecks

And Last…

“We are all one. This is not a political platform. This is celebrating America’s birthday.” —Rapper Vanilla Ice regarding the Great American State Fair