Yesterday was quite the birthday for the commander-in-chief: UFC 250 on the South Lawn of the White House, and a late-night peace deal with Iran to cap it off. We should all live to be 80. As President Donald Trump himself put it yesterday:

The Deal with the Islamic Republic of Iran is now complete. Congratulations to all! I hereby fully authorize the toll free opening of the Strait of Hormuz, and, simultaneously herewith, authorize the immediate removal of the United States Naval blockade. Ships of the World, start your engines. Let the oil flow!

The big question, though, isn’t the one asked last night by UFC heavyweight Josh Hokit about Michelle Obama. The big question is whether Iran can be trusted.

It’s a rhetorical question, of course. The answer is a resounding Hell no. Indeed, midway through my trusty Funk & Wagnalls, right there in the margin next to the (fake) word lyingcheating, is a picture of the ayatollah. The only difference now is that he’s gay and has only one leg. He and his Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps cutthroats still abide by the Sharia precept of taqiyya — namely, that they’re allowed to lie to and mislead the unbelievers, the infidels, in order to conceal their true intentions and advance the conquering cause of Islam.

So while we might be inclined to high-five each other about the smashing of this murderous regime and the lowering of gas prices just in time for the summer driving season, we should instead start thinking about how this “peace” deal will play out in the months ahead. Peace in the Middle East is great in theory, but it’s never been more than that — a theory.

Think about it: When has Iran ever honored a deal with the infidels?

The particulars of the deal are still murky, most likely because the Iranians don’t want to be seen as having bent over for Le Bête Orange and the Great Satan — even though that’s exactly what’s happening. I mean, we sank their navy, we wrecked their air force and their air defenses, we destroyed their missile stockpiles, and we essentially eliminated their ability to defend themselves against anything we choose to do. We didn’t just win this war; we dog-walked this regime. We decimated it. So the lack of specificity is purely a matter of Islamist face-saving. According to the Appropriated Press:

Details of the deal were not immediately released, but it appeared that it would not be implemented until it is signed, which mediator Pakistan said would happen Friday in Geneva. Even if the strait — a crucial waterway for the world’s oil and natural gas — fully opens then, it will likely take months for the global energy crisis sparked by its closure to ease.

The AP adds that the deal faces other “major challenges,” such as: “It gives just 60 days to decide what to do about Iran’s stockpile of highly enriched uranium and its nuclear program — which the U.S. and Israel worry could be used to build an atomic weapon, despite Tehran’s insistence that it is peaceful. It took years for Iran and world powers to negotiate a 2015 agreement to rein in Tehran’s nuclear program.”

It took years. They don’t say. Who do these silly scribes think Donald Trump is, Barack Obama? Joe Biden?

But the deal does give the Iranians immediate economic relief with the lifting of our hugely successful naval blockade and the opening of the Strait of Hormuz, while at the same time giving them a 60-day lying, cheating, scheming negotiation period to determine the fate of their precious enriched uranium.

It sure seems like we should’ve hammered out the uranium issue during the past two months. But Iran’s development of a nuke has always been a nonstarter for Trump, and I expect it’ll continue to be so, regardless of the up-front mealy-mouthing of those negotiations. And it sounds like our military is already making plans to grab that uranium.

Complicating matters even further is Israel, Iran’s Little Satan, which lives in the neighborhood and wasn’t party to the peace deal. The Jewish state has its own agenda concerning Hezbollah in Lebanon, and rightly so. As The Wall Street Journal reported this morning, “President Trump’s deal to wind down the war with Iran set off alarm bells in Israel, where top officials are wrestling with the consequences of easing the pressure on Tehran and the risks of opening a rift with the U.S. over the war with Hezbollah in Lebanon.”

Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu apparently wants to meet with Trump to sort some things out because he doesn’t trust Iran or its recently emasculated Hezbollah proxy any farther than he can page them. So it’s not at all hard to imagine a continued series of precision strikes by Israel against Hezbollah in southern Lebanon, giving the Iranians just the excuse they need to say, after 59 days, The deal is off.

But what of the Iranian people in all this? Wasn’t their liberation part of the plan? Not exactly. But they’re a stakeholder in all this, and no one seems to be talking about them. As former Reagan administration diplomat Elliott Abrams reminds us at National Review: “In December and January, Iranians took to the streets again in huge numbers, as they had in 2009 and 2014. In 200 cities, there were significant protests, and they were not limited to university students; in fact, they started with bazaaris— business people. This was a major challenge to the regime. It responded with mass murder, shooting unarmed demonstrators and killing somewhere between 7,000 and 35,000.”

The fate of the Iranian people is a blight upon an otherwise brilliant operation, but what are we supposed to do? It’s a cruel truth that every people gets the government they deserve. If the Iranians don’t deserve this regime, then they must continue to resist it. And we can continue to offer unequivocal moral support.

So we can declare victory over Iran, and we can celebrate the opening of the Strait of Hormuz, the plummeting of oil prices, and the soaring of our 401(k) fortunes. Furthermore, from a political standpoint, if we can seize upon the Democrats’ gravity-abiding unpopularity, then the prospects for Donald Trump and his fellow Republicans will begin to look pretty darn good as we head into fall. Still, if you take a good whiff, you can already smell a lying, cheating, reneging Iranian rat.

And so we trust. But we verify at every turn. And we replenish our guided-missile stockpile. And we keep our Navy on high alert.

That’s the only way to deal with this lying scumbag regime.