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Sep. 4, 2014

Schools Drop Michelle Obama’s Lunch Program

While Michelle Obama sits around and warns that eating junk food will make you a teenage zombie (according to an unfunny Funny or Die skit in which she appeared) schools are dropping her school lunch program faster than a donut into hot oil. Local NPR station for central New York State WRVO said two schools dropped out of the National School Lunch Program because it was making the district lose money. Before, 600 high school students in Baldwinsville, New York, would buy and actually eat normal school lunches. But Michelle Obama’s zombie-free meals lost the school district money because only 430 students would eat the Obama-manna. Superintendent for Baldwinsville School District David Hamilton said, “Grilled cheese and tomato soup was a very popular lunch. We couldn’t offer that under the new guidelines of the federal government. Spaghetti and meatballs, we couldn’t offer that either.” According to the School Nutrition Association, one million kids have stopped buying school lunches, presumably to gorge themselves on cheese puffs and cupcakes.

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