Insight: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” —Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Upright: “Ladies, open your eyes and hearts. Watch the [Planned Parenthood] videos for yourselves. Get the facts. Unmask the lies. The cackling profiteers of Planned Parenthood don’t care about your breasts. They’re too busy putting price tags on the baby hearts, livers, lungs and limbs swirling around in bloody pie plates, stacked in their ‘research’ labs, subsidized with your tax dollars and sold to the highest bidders. For ‘preventative care,’ of course.” —Michelle Malkin

The BIG Lie: “[T]here’s reason to think that this is merely the tried and true tactic that we have seen from extremists on the Right: To edit this video and selectively release it so that it grossly distorts the position of the person who is actually speaking on the video. Planned Parenthood has indicated that’s what has occurred here.” —Planned Parenthood Obama spokesman Josh Earnest

Braying Jenny: “I am impatient and I sometimes come across as impatient, which is not always attractive, and [I] get really frustrated with people who don’t understand what I think it’s going to take to make our country great tomorrow just like we were yesterday.” —Hillary Clinton on her greatest weakness, which, evidently, is Americans opposed to her being president

Non Compos Mentis: “I’m confident because of the nature of the [Iran] agreement. This is a diplomatic masterpiece.” —Nancy Pelosi

Late-night humor: “A recent study shows that standing at work for long periods of time is bad for you, after earlier research indicated that sitting for too long at work is bad for you. So really the only thing we know is, work is bad for you.” —Jimmy Fallon