The Gipper: “[N]o arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.”

The BIG Lie: “Probably one of the most egregious, wrong pieces of legislation that ever passed the Congress when it comes to this issue is to protect gun sellers and gun makers from liability. They are the only business in America that is wholly protected from any kind of liability. They can sell a gun to someone they know they shouldn’t, and they won’t be sued. There will be no consequences.” —Hillary Clinton (The only ones unaccountably selling guns to bad guys are the Obama administration in Fast and Furious.

Alpha Jackass: “I believe that being shot should be a requirement for gun ownership in America. It’s very simple. … [T]ake a bullet and you will be granted the right to purchase the firearm of your choice.” —Salon’s D. Watkins

Braying Jenny: “Here in Alabama, without the right kind of ID, it’s nearly impossible to vote. It’s hard to believe we are back having this same debate about whether every American gets a chance to vote. This is a blast from the Jim Crow past.” —Hillary Clinton on voter ID

Village Idiots: “It is not a coincidence that immediately prior to the civil war in Syria, the country experienced the worst drought on record. … Now, I’m not telling you that the crisis in Syria was caused by climate change. No, obviously, it wasn’t. It was caused by a brutal dictator who barrel-bombed, starved, tortured and gassed his own people. But the devastating drought clearly made a bad situation a lot worse.” —John Kerry (In other words, the Syrian crisis was caused by climate change…)

For the record: “[My payroll tax plan] would hit everyone — yeah, it would. But it would mean we would join the rest of the industrialized world and make sure that when a mom has a baby she can in fact stay home with that baby for three months, rather than going back to work at the end of one week.” —Bernie Sanders

Late-night humor: “New research shows that China has a bigger middle class than America, and more people in China are living what we would call the ‘American Dream.’ That’s when you know things are bad — when even the American DREAM is made in China.” —Jimmy Fallon