The Gipper: “We did not seek the role of leadership that has been thrust upon us. But whether we like it or not, the events of our time demand America’s participation.”

Upright: “We’re fast approaching Obama’s last year in office. I want to warn you again, in all likelihood, there are going to be things this president does in the next 12 months that you can’t even think of or conceive of now. … [I]t doesn’t matter what the courts say, it doesn’t matter if Obama policies have a stay on them or temporary halt. It’s his last chance to have personal stamps or fingerprints on the transformation of this country. He knows the Republicans have taken impeachment — it’s late for that anyway. There’s not gonna be any effort to stop him.” —Rush Limbaugh

Braying Jackass: “Nearly four centuries after the Mayflower set sail, the world is still full of pilgrims — men and women who want nothing more than the chance for a safer, better future for themselves and their families. What makes America America is that we offer that chance.” —Barack Obama on why we should open the doors wide for Syrian refugees (On the bright side, Obama finally had something positive to say about Christian pilgrims…)

Demo-gogues: “This is not normal. We can’t let it become normal. If we truly care about this — if we’re going to offer up our thoughts and prayers again, for God knows how many times, with a truly clean conscience — then we have to do something about the easy accessibility of weapons of war on our streets to people who have no business wielding them. Period. Enough is enough.” —Barack Obama on last week’s shooting at a Planned Parenthood clinic

Village Idiots: “It is offensive and outrageous that some [Republican] politicians are now claiming this tragedy has nothing to do with the toxic environment they helped create. One of the lessons of this awful tragedy is that words matter, and hateful rhetoric fuels violence. It’s not enough to denounce the tragedy without also denouncing the poisonous rhetoric that fueled it.” —Planned Parenthood Executive Vice President Dawn Laguens (Of course, what the Left means by “denouncing the poisonous rhetoric” is embracing it.)

And last… “Obama will only use 39,045 gal of jet fuel to attend the Paris Climate Summit, but he will adjust Air Force 1’s thermostat down to 71°.” —Twitter satirist @weknowwhatsbest