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March 7, 2016

Monday Short Cuts

RIP: “If either of us ever left the room, we both felt lonely. People don’t always believe this, but it’s true. Filling the loneliness, completing each other — that’s what it still meant to us to be husband and wife.” —Nancy Reagan

The Gipper: “I more than love you, I’m not whole without you. You are life itself to me. When you are gone I’m waiting for you to return so I can start living again.”

Braying Jackass: “Nancy Reagan had an undeniable knack for inviting controversy. There were her extravagant spending habits at a time of double-digit unemployment, a chaotic relationship with her children and stepchildren that could rival a soap-opera plot, and the jaw-dropping news that she had insisted the White House abide by an astrologer when planning the president’s schedule.” —Washington Post’s Lois Romano

Fantasy island: “Overall, America’s business has now created new jobs for 72 straight months, six straight years of job creation — 14.3 million new jobs. In fact, our businesses have created jobs every single month since I signed that job-killing Obamacare bill. … I don’t expect that these facts and this evidence will convince some of the politicians out there to change their doomsday rhetoric, talking about how terrible America is. … The fact of the matter is, is that the plans that we have put in place to grow the economy have worked. They would work even faster if we did not have the kind of obstruction that we’ve seen in this town to prevent additional policies that would make a difference.” —Barack Obama

The BIG lie, part I: “I know some of the parents from Sandy Hook. I want people in this audience to think about what it must feel like to send off your first grader, little backpack maybe on his or her back and the next thing you hear is that somebody has come to that school using an automatic weapon, an AR-15 and murdered those children.” —Hillary Clinton, deliberately conflating automatic with semiautomatic

The BIG lie, part II: “Congress has looked into [Clinton’s email scandal]. The Justice Department has looked into it, and they’ve cleared her.” —Rep. Joaquin Castro

Late-night humor: “The Google search ‘How to move to Canada’ started trending after Donald Trump’s impressive showing on Super Tuesday. Or as Canadians put it, ‘Great, now we need to build a wall.’” —Jimmy Fallon

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