The Gipper: “Government growing beyond our consent had become a lumbering giant, slamming shut the gates of opportunity, threatening to crush the very roots of our freedom.”

Upright: “If the White House can control the bathroom policies of the nation, then what is beyond its reach? The answer is absolutely nothing.” —Tony Perkins

Obfuscation: “I’m a conservative, but don’t forget, this is called the Republican Party. It’s not called the Conservative Party.” —Donald Trump (He’s both right and lying — he’s not a conservative, but neither is the GOP always conservative.)

Non Compos Mentis: “[I]n my plan, [taxes are] going down, but by the time it’s negotiated, they’ll go up. When I’m negotiating with the Democrats, I’m putting in a plan. I’m putting in my optimum plan. It’s going to be negotiated. It’s not going to stay there. They’re not going to say, ‘There’s your plan, let’s approve it.’ They’re going to say, ‘Let’s see what we can do.’ It’ll be a negotiation.” —Donald Trump (Question: Currently the House and Senate are controlled by Republicans. Why does Trump say he will be negotiating with Democrats unless he assumes, as we all have, that his candidacy will send it over to Democrats?)

Alpha Jackass: “Russell Moore is truly a terrible representative of Evangelicals and all of the good they stand for. A nasty guy with no heart!” —Donald Trump

Who knew? “There will always be fires in the forests, say experts.” —Canadian Press headline

And last… “Despite falling behind in delegates, Bernie Sanders insists he still has nine states left to go. Unfortunately, five of those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining, and Acceptance.” —Conan O'Brien