The Gipper: “Our policies have concentrated on rationing scarcity rather than creating plenty. As a result our economy has stagnated.”

Alpha Jackass: “At the end of the day the flag is just a piece of cloth and I am not going to value a piece of cloth over people’s lives. That’s just not something I can do. It’s not something I feel morally right doing and my character won’t allow me to do that.” —Colin Kaepernick

Backpedaling: “Some of you have inquired about a book interview in which I was asked how I felt about Colin Kaepernick and other NFL players who refused to stand for the national anthem. Barely aware of the incident or its purpose, my comments were inappropriately dismissive and harsh. I should have declined to respond.” —Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Demo-gogues: “No, [Bill Clinton’s history of sexual abuse] shouldn’t matter. Look, I can’t make any excuse for Bill Clinton’s conduct … and I wouldn’t attempt to make any excuses for the conduct. But he paid a price for it. He paid a price. He was impeached. And he was — he expressed his deep sorrow and acknowledged what he did.” —Joe Biden

The BIG lie: “When people ask me, ‘So how are you going to pay for infrastructure jobs and paid family leave?’, I say, ‘Well, I’m telling you how I’m paying for everything.’ I am not going to add a penny to the national debt. We’re going to go where the money is. We’re going to make the wealthy pay their fair share, and we’re finally going to close those corporate loopholes.” —Hillary Clinton

Late-night humor: “The best email that’s been leaked so far claims that Hillary met with rapper Q-Tip last year to discuss how to appeal to hip-hop fans. The big takeaway for Hillary: Whatever you do, don’t try to rap. I guess the meeting with Q-Tip really affected Hillary because afterwards, she actually came up with some rapper names for herself. First, she tried Lil’ Wheezy. Then she tried Run DNC. And finally, she tried Wiz Deleeta.” —Jimmy Fallon