Allyne Caan / Dec. 8, 2016

The Left's Arrested Development

The pathetic emotional response to Trump's election.

In the wake of Donald Trump’s election victory, the emotional instability many leftists have demonstrated is mind-boggling and, in some cases, downright hysterical.

We get being disappointed when your candidate loses. After all, there was plenty of disappointment — and even some fear — among Liberty-loving conservatives when Barack Obama ascended to power with the promise to “fundamentally transform” the land of the free and the home of the brave. There was even more dismay when the country saw what Obama had done … and re-elected him anyway.

But we didn’t ditch dating, chop off our hair, or lose our faith because of it. Clearly, “progressives” are outdoing us in their post-election mourning.

So great was the grief of Trump’s win for single mom Stephanie Land, for example, that she gave up dating. And not just in theory. She actually ditched a man who was a potentially promising husband. “There is no room for dating in this place of grief,” Land wrote in the Washington Post. “I’ve lost the desire to attempt the courtship phase. The future is uncertain. I am not the optimistic person I was on the morning of Nov. 8. … Dating means hope. I’ve lost that hope in seeing the words ‘President-elect Trump.’” And so, Land told her almost-significant other, “I can’t. I just can’t”. (Despite her emotional dependency on Hillary Clinton, Land apparently didn’t embrace Clinton’s mantra that we are “stronger together.”)

Then, there is hair. And no, not Trump’s. New York magazine details the “post-Trump haircut.” One client at the Georgetown Salon & Spa told her stylist, “Think of Melania Trump and go in the opposite direction. I don’t want to be that person people see as sexual, I want to be seen as strong.” Meanwhile, marketing director Julianna Evans had colored her hair the same shade for years, but when “president-elect” was prefixed to Trump’s name, she “cried for three days.” Then, she did the unthinkable. Instead of using medium-brown coloring, she went for natural black! “The election deadened my soul,” she said. “I think I wanted to do something defiant to feel stronger.” Because in the age of gender equality and breaking glass ceilings, we women find our greatest strength in our hair color.

The strong, feminist women aren’t alone in their despondency. Benjamin Ryan writes in the Huffington Post that he learned of Trump’s victory “while midstream in providing a urine sample for the emergency psychiatric staff of a New York City public hospital” where he had checked himself in after the results from battleground states started coming in. Ryan was eventually sent home and told, “You don’t belong here,” yet he characterized himself as having suffered “a genuine mental health crisis.” Notably, he is a self-described Ivy League graduate. Those bastions of reasoned discourse sure prepare folks for the real world.

Haircuts, dating and safe spaces are one thing, but losing your religious affiliation? That’s what Trump’s win supposedly did to Brandi Miller. As the Wall Street Journal reports, after the election, Miller wrote on Facebook, “On Nov. 8, white evangelical Christianity and I called it quits.” She noted that as a biracial woman, she couldn’t condone the racial divide highlighted by exit polling showing 81% of white evangelicals backed Trump. “Evangelicals have decided who and with what they will associate. It’s not me.” Miller still calls herself a Christian, but not evangelical.

At least one person is taking an ever so slightly more reasoned approach to the loss — which isn’t saying much. Instead of peeing in a psychiatric ward, journalist Mark Weston is calling for mass tax evasion if a Republican ever again wins the presidency without winning the popular vote. Give us the president we want or else we… we… we… won’t pay taxes! He waves the banner of “no taxation without representation” because, you know, the inability to handle disappointment is on par with pledging one’s life, fortune, and sacred honor. And note the hypocrisy of crying that Trump didn’t pay taxes, only to turn around and promise not to pay taxes.

Aside from leftists displaying the maturity level of a five-year-old, the irony of all this is that regardless of how much the Left may hate Trump and Republicans, the latter aren’t the ones trying to micromanage everyone’s lives. While under the next administration liberals may lose their supposed right not to get offended and their ability to try to control everything, they won’t lose their Liberty or true rights. What’s worse, they may even be forced to endure hearing opinions different from their own.

And for Hillary-worshipping, glass-ceiling-breaking damsels in distress everywhere — and for the metrosexual males too traumatized to rescue them — living through such hardship may require not just a new hair color but also a full mani-pedi.

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