Insight: “Let the laws be clear, uniform and precise; to interpret laws is almost always to corrupt them.” —Voltaire (1694-1778)

Upright: “[Obama’s] final speech, amazingly, could have been given, nearly unedited, in 2008. Why it even ended with ‘yes we can.’ Is there more powerful evidence of the emptiness of the intervening two terms? When your final statement is a reprise of your first, you have unwittingly confessed to being nothing more than a historical parenthesis.” —Charles Krauthammer

Race bait: “I want to express my concerns about being made to testify at the very end of the witness panels. To have a senator, a House member and a living civil rights legend testify at the end of all of this is the equivalent of being made to go to the back of the bus. It is a petty strategy.” —Rep. Cedric Richmond in remarks regarding Jeff Sessions’ confirmation hearing

Belly laugh of the week: “I think [the outgoing administration] was scandal-free beyond [Obama’s] personal life. The man’s integrity, his decency and his optimism about America that he both embodied and pursued I think will be his legacy.” —former Obama press secretary Jay Carney

Alpha Jackass: “Could Obama murder Trump & Pence, then pardon himself? Asking for humanity.” —British political correspondent Rupert Myers

Non Compos Mentis, part I: “I can’t think of anything like that.” —Nancy Pelosi, whom Vox says “cannot think of a single part of the Affordable Care Act that has underperformed her expectations”

Non Compos Mentis, part II: “[ObamaCare] is a free market initiative. Buy insurance, then you get a subsidy if you need it.” —Nancy Pelosi

We should really talk about this over school lunch: “I think Michelle is the finest first lady in history.” —Joe Biden

Village Idiots: “I fully support imposing martial law — delaying the inauguration — until Trump is ‘cleared’ of all charges.” —Rosie O'Donnell

And last… “When it comes to race relations, Obama denies there has been a change in climate. He’s a race climate change denier.” —Twitter satirist @weknowwhatsbest