For the record: “Tuition has increased at two and half times the rate of inflation. Nothing else this important has ever done that. Not real estate, energy, food, even healthcare. The question is why? Is the quality of education two and half times better than it was thirty years ago? No way. … No, universities have been able to raise their prices partly because too many parents believe that anything less than a four-year degree will doom their kid to a less productive existence, and partly because we’ve pressured millions of kids to borrow whatever it takes from a bottomless pool of unlimited money that doesn’t really exist.” —Mike Rowe

Heh: “Now that doctors are coming clean I’m looking forward to finding out the real reason HRC collapsed at the 9/11 memorial.” —Bethany S. Mandel

Excuse #887: “It’s hard to know, but if you’re in the Iowa caucuses and 41% of Democrats are socialists, or self-described socialists, and I’m asked, ‘Are you a capitalist?’ and I say, ‘Yes, but with appropriate regulation and appropriate accountability,’ you know, that probably gets lost in the ‘Oh my gosh, she’s a capitalist.’” —Hillary Clinton now blaming her “capitalist” sensibilities for her 2016 loss

Hypocrite: “I have said to my Republican colleagues in Congress: Not one of your political survivals is more important than the survival of our children.” —House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi

The BIG Lie: “The [Washington] Post has changed now. … It’s not as exciting a paper as it was, but it’s definitely not ideological anymore.” —MSNBC’s Chris Matthew

Late-night humor: “Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg just attended the premiere of a documentary about her life. Even she was like, ‘I’m only here because "Avengers” was sold out.’“ —Jimmy Fallon