Belly laugh of the week: “Poor FBI — agents who had nothing to do with the improper behavior will have to take a ‘full day of training’ to learn things like: Don’t use work texts with your mistress to conspire to use your official position to impact a presidential election.” —Sharyl Attkisson

Nothing to see here! “[Peter Strzok] was trying to impress the girl he was f—ing! That’s all it was! [Lisa Page] is saying, ‘Oh my God! Is Trump going to be president?’ He says, ‘No, I’m Captain Save-A-Hoe… and I will stop it, baby!’” —Bill Maher

Upright: “It’s a good start for Democrats to be outraged over migrant children separated from their parents. Now do outrage over 1M unborn children separated from their parents by being ripped from their mother’s wombs. Then I’ll know you mean it.” —Liz Wheeler

Nope — they don’t mean it: “Hey dads, Happy #FathersDay! Caring about women’s #reprofreedom & bodily autonomy makes you better at raising future generations of feminists. So if you’re a pro-choice dad & one of the many #MenForChoice, we’re celebrating you today!” —NARAL

Maybe because most Americans see right through this charade? “I just don’t even know why there aren’t uprisings all over the country, and maybe there will be when people realize that [apprehending migrant children] is a policy that they defend.” —Nancy Pelosi

A blind squirrel finds a nut: “We’re in a much better place… We’re on the diplomatic path, as opposed to where we were six or eight months ago [with North Korea].” —Obama’s DNI James Clapper

Self-evaluation: “Our party right now, and I’m probably the only one who says this, is pickled in identity politics and victimology.” —Democrat Matt Flynn, who’s running for governor of Wisconsin

And last… “You think any of these people care about family separation? If they did, they’d be upset about the collapse of the American family, which is measurable and real. They’re not. They welcome that collapse, because strong families are an impediment to their political power.” —Tucker Carlson