The Gipper: “A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.”

Braying Jackass: “Before this harebrained and reckless administration is history, the nation will have cause to celebrate the public servants derided by Trumpists as the supposed ‘deep state.’” —Eugene Robinson in The Washington Post

Alpha Jackass: “I was absolutely outraged by [Donald Trump’s] behavior in Helsinki, where he really sold the American people out. … Perhaps he is being blackmailed by Russia because they may have compromising information about him or perhaps also you have a president who really does have strong authoritarian tendencies and maybe he admires the kind of government that Putin is running in Russia.” —Sen. Bernie Sanders (Socialist-VT)

Braying Jenny: “For months I’ve been trying to tell the American public that this president is dangerous [and] that he’s in bed with Putin. Don’t forget this president can’t borrow money in the United States from any bank. This president is looking at Russia for his new money, financial playground. … I think he is Putin’s apprentice. He’s been under his tutelage for a long time now.” —Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA)

Good luck with that: “Hello everybody. I’m so excited to be hopping on here, on Senator Sanders’ [Twitter] account, and we’re here in Kansas City to rally for Brent Welder. We’re going to flip this seat red in November.” —Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez with a Freudian slip about the election map color

Non Compos Mentis: “Julie and Nate Sharpe are raising their 3-year-old twins using the pronoun they, them and their to shield them from gender stereotypes. This is a new parenting technique called, ‘theybies.’” —NBC News (“There is a name for this parenting technique: child abuse.” —Matt Walsh)

And last… “The Left no longer even pretends to believe in borders or in citizenship. They’ve rejected the notion that America is even a country. ‘It’s an idea,’ they tell us again and again. Though really you get the sense they think it’s more like a division of Amazon, staffed by faceless, replaceable drones. Meaning you, for now, and then your foreign replacement if you don’t work eagerly enough or if you complain.” —Tucker Carlson