Upright: “9/11 is another reminder of how much is at stake this November. Our military families know it. The survivors of that horrible day know it. And the enemies of this nation know it. … Seventeen years later, there’s no better way to honor the thousands of men and women who lost their lives for being American than protecting the principles that make our country great.” —Tony Perkins

For the record: “It’s much more plausible that [FBI Agent Peter Strzok] was talking about a strategy designed to leak things selectively to the media to achieve the goal [Donald Trump’s election loss] he set up for himself. It doesn’t pass the giggle test.” —Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz

Braying Jackass: “This is a scandal. At the start of hurricane season — when American citizens in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands are still suffering from FEMA’s inadequate recovery efforts — the administration transferred millions of dollars away from FEMA. And for what? To implement their profoundly misguided ‘zero tolerance’ policy.” —Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-OR)

The BIG Lie: “[Brett Kavanaugh] referred to birth-control pills as ‘abortion-inducing drugs.’ That set off a lot of alarm bells for me, and it should for you, too. Kavanaugh didn’t use that term because he misunderstands the basic science of birth control — the fact that birth control prevents fertilization of eggs in the first place. He used that term because it’s a dog whistle to the extreme right. When Kavanaugh called birth control ‘abortion-inducing drugs,’ he made it clear that safe and legal abortion isn’t the only fundamental reproductive right at grave risk if he is confirmed. Access to birth control is, too. Imagine an America in which women are barred from getting IUDs or birth control pills, and doctors are criminalized for prescribing them. It’s an America in which women would be punished for insisting on being full and equal partners in society.” —Hillary Clinton peddling Sen. Kamala Harris’s egregiously false claim

And last… “Space may still be the final frontier, but today, when we talk about boldly going where no man has gone before, we mean the ladies’ bathroom. Progress.” —Mark Steyn