Non Compos Mentis I: “We just can’t go back to [the pre-Roe era]. That’s unconscionable to me. And also — I’m sure that this will unleash another wave of hate in my direction — but as a deeply religious person, it’s also unchristian to me.” —Chelsea Clinton

Non Compos Mentis II: “We need to judge Brett Kavanaugh not just by what he may or may not have done but how he treats a woman’s pain.” —Wonkette founder Ana Marie Cox (“The real question of the Duke lacrosse case, by this standard, wasn’t whether a stripper was actually raped — the question is whether the members of the Duke lacrosse team were sensitive to her feelings while she was falsely accusing them of rape.” —Ben Shapiro)

What due process? “Enough with the ‘he said, she said’ storyline. If this is he said, she said, then let’s believe the ‘she’ in these scenarios. She has nothing to gain, and everything to lose. For 250 years we have believed the ‘he’ in these scenarios. Enough is enough.” —ABC News’s Matthew Dowd

Guilty until proven innocent: “For a woman to come forward in the glaring lights of focus, nationally, you’ve got to start off with the presumption that at least the essence of what she’s talking about is real, whether or not she forgets facts, whether or not it’s been made worse or better over time.” —Joe Biden

Hypocrite: “Supreme Court justices should not be an extension of the Republican Party.” —Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), who wants the Supreme Court to be an extension of the Democrat (read: “Living Constitution”) Party

Braying Jackass I: “[Trump] really is the rare combination of an eight-year-old boy — he’s got the maturity of an eight-year-old boy with the insecurity of a teenage girl.” —John Kerry (Ironically, Kerry’s comrades weren’t amused … because sexism!)

Braying Jackass II: “Barack and I agreed we would be quiet for the first year to let the new administration get up and running. God forgive me.” —Joe Biden

And last… “Hello, FBI? We need you to investigate a sexual assault allegation? Oh, that’s a police matter? Still. When was it? Roughly 36 years ago? The actual date? No idea. The location? Not sure. What do we know? There were either 2 or 4 people in the room. Hello, hello? Did you hang up?” —John Hawkins