Upright: “Why are white Americans always so desperate to prove that they have non-white or non-American heritage? ‘I’m a tenth Italian!’ No, you’re not. You’re just American. Which is great! You should be proud. There’s nothing wrong with being a white American.” —Matt Walsh

For the record: “[Elizabeth Warren’s DNA test is] not even close to a slam dunk. She scored on herself! She scored a goal against herself!” —Megyn Kelly

Non Compos Mentis: “Hurricane Michael intensified as it reached the coast. And that’s something relatively new. And the reason for it is, the ocean waters are much warmer than normal, so it’s not getting cold waters churned up to weaken the storm. It just keeps on getting stronger.” —Al Gore

A stopped clock is right twice a day: “Illegal guns are the problem, not legal guns. We have the right to bear arms.” —Kanye West

Belly laugh of the week: “[Republicans] could have voted [Merrick Garland] down. They could have said, ‘Well, for ideological reasons, philosophical reasons, we’re not going to vote for him.’ But no. They stonewalled. And that was such a breach of Senate ethics and the constitutional responsibility of the Senate to advise and consent on nominations.” —ethics prodigy Hillary Clinton

Braying Jenny: “In my view [a border wall is] immoral, expensive, ineffective, and not something that people do between countries. But, in any event, it happens to be like a manhood issue for the president and I’m not interested in that.” —House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

The BIG Lie: “2010 right-wing anger/mobs played a role in dehumanizing Congress, helping lead to [Gabby] Giffords shooting in 2011.” —The Washington Post’s Paul Kane

And last… “If we can prove a fetus is 1/1024th human will Democrats finally protect the unborn?” —Charlie Kirk