The Gipper: “You and I are told we must choose between a left or right, but I suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There is only an up or down.” —Ronald Reagan

For the record: “Contrary to many of the myths of American economic life, the best measures now indicate that American wages have grown, that compensation has increased with productivity, and that Americans’ most basic standard of living has increased. We have more stuff, we have easier lives, and we live in bigger houses. When it comes to the most basic things an economy can provide, America’s free-enterprise system has worked very, very well, and continues to work well.” —David French

Leadership: “We are going to confront the national-security crisis on our southern border [and stop the] invasion of our country with drugs, with human traffickers, with all types of criminals and gangs.” —Donald Trump on justification for his national-emergency declaration

Friendly fire: “The Green New Deal concentrates power in the hands of the Washington elite in a way nothing has done since World War II. … It used to be Democrats wanted to shift the tax code, shift the regulations in order to steer the market in a more humane direction, and I get that. And that — being that kind of Democrat, you would be for a carbon tax in order to address global warming. This is not that. This is simply the government taking control of large swaths of the American economy, something I don’t think the government is capable of doing.” —New York Times columnist David Brooks

Braying Jackass: “The America I see values basic human decency, not snatching children from their parents or turning our back on refugees at our border. Americans know that’s not right. The American people understand plainly that this makes us an embarrassment. The American people know, overwhelmingly, that it is not right. That it is not who we are.” —Joe Biden while in Germany, of all places

Perpetually unsatisfied: “We’re going to have to do our own investigation, and we are.” —Rep. Adam Schiff when queried, “If [Robert Mueller] finds that there was no direct collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia, will you accept that?”

Non Compos Mentis: “Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a 2020 candidate, endorsed federal implementation of a third gender listing for Americans who identify as non-binary. Speaking at an LGBTQ-focused meet and greet in New Hampshire on Friday, Gillibrand emphatically said ‘yes’ about recognizing ‘X’ as a third gender marker.” —CBS News

And last… “[Jussie] Smollett may just be the dumbest race hoaxer in history. I mean, if you’re going to invent a hate crime, just invent it. Don’t hire two Nigerian guys to play the part of violent rednecks. And don’t go to the police about it. And for God’s sake maybe drop the sandwich.” —Matt Walsh