For the record: “[Michael Cohen’s testimony] was above all a reminder that Americans elected a President in 2016 who had spent decades in the sleazier corners of New York business and tabloid life. He surrounded himself with political rogues like [Roger] Stone, legal hustlers like Mr. Cohen, and even brought in a Beltway bandit from central casting, Paul Manafort, as his campaign chairman for a time. Republicans knew all this when they nominated Mr. Trump, and now he and the GOP will pay a political price as Democrats marinate in that blue past in hearing after hearing. Character does matter, especially in Presidents.” —The Wall Street Journal

Birds of a feather… “It really comes down to the question of, isn’t $10 million enough? Like, when does it stop, right? At what point is it immoral that we’re building Jeff Bezos a helipad when we have the most amount of homeless people in New York City?” —Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (“I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.” —Barack Obama, 2010)

Non Compos Mentis: “President Donald Trump’s critics are increasingly focused on the question of which Democrat will challenge him for the presidency in 2020. It’s an important question, but another one might be even more important: Regardless of who runs in 2020, if Trump loses, will he leave the Oval Office peacefully?” —CNN contributor Joshua A. Geltzer

Witch hunt: “Well, we will obviously subpoena the report. We will bring Bob Mueller in to testify before Congress. We will take it to court if necessary. And in the end, I think the [Justice] Department understands they’re going to have to make this public.” —House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam B. Schiff

Cat’s out of the bag: “As far as anybody who says, ‘Well, this bill wouldn’t have solved this incident,’ the only thing that will solve every one is to do away with guns.” —Rep. Mike Thompson

Friendly fire: “I’m really surprised that Senator Sanders could not at least call [Nicolas Maduro] a dictator.” —Sen. Bob Menendez

Friendly fire II: “Now, in terms of the Green New Deal, that goes beyond what our charge is. Our charge is about saving the planet. They have in there things like single-payer and  …  what is it? Guaranteed income? And then they have, I don’t know if it’s single-payer or Medicare for All. … It’s kind of, like, a broader agenda. All good values, but nonetheless, not what we hope to achieve.” —Nancy Pelosi

Braying Jackass: “When you say that the cause of migration is legal loopholes or bad judicial decisions, rather than the dire conditions of violence and poverty in these people’s home countries that’s literally driving them from home, I think it’s easier to slam the door against these kids and these families. … Following orders is no more an excuse today than it was back in Germany.” —Rep. Mary Gay Scanlon

Alpha Jackass: “Yeah, [Trump’s] got a bigger plantation.” —Samuel L. Jackson

And last… “Remarkably Cohen’s testimony exonerates Trump. He says Trump never directly told him to lie, he has no evidence of collusion, and Trump only worked on the Moscow project because he thought he wouldn’t win, which means he wasn’t trying to leverage the presidency for financial gain.” —Matt Walsh