For the record: “We have, in many ways, almost fallen victim to our own successes in health care. Vaccines work, and work so well, that the diseases they’re meant to prevent have faded from our collective memories. Instead of knowing children in our classes forever changed by polio, as parents, we fear side effects from the very treatments meant to spare our children from harm and danger. This false equivalency is ultimately leaving more babies and vulnerable people exposed and at risk, without protection from a vaccinated population around them.” —Holly Scheer

Alpha Jackass: “It’s a national disgrace that Trump sleeps in the White House instead of a federal prison cell, but it has been a while since I had any expectation that the special counsel Robert Mueller’s findings, many of which were finally released to the public on Thursday, could set things right.” —New York Times columnist Michelle Goldberg

Braying Jenny: “Congress should hold substantive hearings that build on the Mueller report and fill in its gaps, not jump straight to an up-or-down vote on impeachment. In 1998, the Republican-led House rushed to judgment. That was a mistake then and would be a mistake now. Watergate offers a better precedent.” —Hillary Clinton in an op-ed giving advice on following up to Mueller’s report (Sheerly by coincidence, we’re sure, Watergate was when Democrats ousted a Republican president.)

Collusion! “What’s clear from this administration, and what’s clear throughout the entirety of his business practices, is that they will lie, cheat, and steal. They’ll do anything to win. They have so eroded institutions of democracy. We have to be prepared for lying, cheating, and stealing. They have an approach to undermining our democracy that is shameful and that is why we are organizing everywhere. That is why we are preparing for every eventuality.” —DNC Chairman Tom Perez

Friendly fire: “I have a hard time seeing the [Bernie Sanders] coalition ultimately coming together.” —Pete Buttigieg

Gender bait: “I will have a woman running mate. To me it’s really clear that we do that.” —Sen. Cory Booker

“Not radical” doesn’t make it moral: “More than 30 countries around the world today such as Canada, South Africa and Finland allow prisoners to vote. This is not a radical idea. Every American citizen must be able to vote. Period.” —Sen. Bernie Sanders

Non compos mentis: “I truly believe that a child cannot consent to being on a diet the same way a child cannot consent to having sex. … I do not think it’s surprising that the man who shot up Christchurch, New Zealand, was also a fitness instructor. … Nazis really love this idea of an idealized body, and so it makes a lot of sense to me that a fitness instructor … might also think about an idealized body in this thin white supremacist way.” —"Fat Sex Therapist" Sonalee Rashatwar at St. Olaf College

And last… “Joe Biden will return the nation’s values to the happy days of 2009-2016, when he was VP of an admin that fanned the flames of Ferguson, let migrants die in US custody, allowed ISIS to grow, caged children, spied on & tried to jail reporters, and used tear gas on immigrants.” —Twitter satirist @hale_razor