For the record: “Madam Speaker, did you bring your handcuffs?” —Attorney General William Barr’s humorous quip to Nancy Pelosi after her threat to charge him with contempt

Non sequitur: “No one cares more about border security than those of us who live there. … We are a nation of laws. That border must be respected. … This president is turning [migrants] away at the legal ports of entry, forcing them to cross in-between those ports of entry. Not only do those walls not manage this situation, they also contribute to death and suffering.” —Beto O'Rourke

Belly laugh of the week: “The grace with which [Stacey Abrams] met that defeat on an unfair, unlevel playing field with the secretary of state perhaps rigging, in part, that election … is inspiring stuff at a time that our democracy is so badly broken.” —Beto O'Rourke

Intraparty infighting: “I will be damned if the same politicians who refused to act then come back today and say we need a ‘middle of the road’ approach to save our lives.” —Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Friendly fire: “Tell [AOC] to check the statements that I made and look at my record. She’ll find that nobody has been more consistent about taking on the environment and the Green Revolution than I have.” —Joe Biden

Braying Jenny: “I’ll probably never put my hand over my heart. I’ll probably never sing the national anthem again.” —U.S. women’s soccer star Megan Rapinoe

Non compos mentis: “At its heart, these attempts to wield control over sex come from a desire to reassert total control over our bodies and our reproductive rights. But really, it’s about power. Whoever controls reproduction has power. … A #SexStrike is a way to target straight, cisgender men so they may feel the physical consequences of our reproductive rights being systematically eliminated.” —Alyssa Milano and Waleisah Wilson

Alpha Jackass: “I had an abortion when I was young, and it was the best decision I have ever made. Both for me, and for the baby I didn’t want, and wasn’t ready for, emotionally, psychologically and financially. So many children will end up in foster homes. So many lives ruined. So very cruel. … If Georgia becomes inundated with children who are unwanted or unable to be cared for, it will be hard to find great fostering for them all.” —actress Jameela Jamil

And last… “I think at this point I’ve heard every attempt at a coherent argument for abortion, and I still haven’t heard one that makes any logical sense. I try to find the good arguments for the other side of an issue so I can know what to say to them. With abortion, they just don’t exist.” —Allie Beth Stuckey