On cross-examination: “Mueller needs to go back to law school. In America’s judicial system, no prosecutors ever, ever conclude innocence. They only decide guilt. Americans are presumed innocent if not found guilty!” —Sen. Rand Paul

Upright: “Allow me to reiterate my unpopular opinion that it is ridiculous to have a prosecutor produce a 400-page report for public consumption and then testify for the TV cameras over a matter that he couldn’t decide was a crime or not.” —Rich Lowry

Friendly fire: “All you pundits and moderates and lame Dems who told the public to put their faith in the esteemed Robert Mueller — just STFU from now on.” —Michael Moore

Belly laugh of the week: “The American people now realize more fully the crimes that were committed against our Constitution.” —House Speaker Nancy Pelosi

Braying Jenny: “I would say our country should be more fearful of white men across our country because they are actually causing most of the deaths within this country. And so if fear was the driving force of policies to keep America safe — Americans safe inside of this country — we should be profiling, monitoring, and creating policies to fight the radicalization of white men.” —Rep. Ilhan Omar, February 2018

Race bait: “Look, there are African American men [at a Trump rally]! How much did he pay them to be ‘blackground’?” —Bette Midler, who evidently thinks blacks can’t think for themselves

Dezinformatsiya: “Was @AOC crying over a parking lot while protesting family separation? False, she was standing on a road to a migrant facility, which was in her line of gaze, and was just beyond the port of entry.” —Politifact with a laughably pathetic “fact check”

Braying Jackass: “Let’s get one thing out of the way right at the beginning: Donald Trump is a raging racist, okay? He’s a complete and thoroughgoing racist and he made that choice as a choice a long time ago.” —Bill Weld

Alpha Jackass: “[Republicans] don’t care about the United States. It really was something watching them defend this president. Normally, when people fall on their knees for Trump like that, he pays them $130,000 in hush money.” —Jimmy Kimmel

And last… “The person who learned the most about the Mueller report [yesterday] was Bob Mueller.” —Trey Gowdy