Upright: “It’s interesting that the same people who said Martin Luther King laughing as a woman was raped isn’t relevant to King’s legacy are now insisting that Ronald Reagan’s racist comments should destroy Reagan’s legacy. I think we should have a more consistent approach to these things.” —Matt Walsh

For the record: “Baltimore’s homicide rate is so high that under current U.S. asylum laws, the residents could qualify for refugee status in the United States.” —Ellie Bufkin

Adulting: “Kamala says she knows too many people who stay at a job they don’t like so they can have insurance. Yes. That is called being an adult and making adult decisions.” —Allie Beth Stuckey

A blind squirrel finds a nut: “If you cross the border illegally, you should be able to be sent back. It’s a crime.” —Joe Biden

Soapbox theater: “The first thing I’m going to do as president is I am going to Clorox the Oval Office.” —Kirsten Gillibrand, who apparently has forgotten that Bill Clinton is no longer in office (“If Kirsten Gillibrand is elected, she promises the first female president’s first act would be… cleaning?” —Emily Jashinsky)

Non Compos Mentis: “This is going to be a tough truth but we are too late. We are 10 years too late. We need to do everything we can to start moving the climate in the right direction but also need to start moving our people to higher ground and the best way to do that is to put economic resources in your hands so you can protect yourself and your families.” —Andrew Yang

Womansplaining: “I can talk to those white women in the suburbs that voted for Trump and explain to them what white privilege actually is.” —Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand

Braying Jenny: “This current president is continuing to betray us. We were supposed to be going after al-Qaida, but over years now, not only have we not gone after al-Qaida … our president is supporting al-Qaida.” —Rep. Tulsi Gabbard

And last… “Based on watching almost six hours of D debates the last two nights, I have concluded 20 candidates is not enough. None of these candidates is any good.” —Ari Fleischer