Upright: “Two years ago, [House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff] lied to the American public [when] he said he had proof and evidence beyond circumstantial, and carried us through this nightmare for the last two years. He then … met with Michael Cohen and his staff, what, three times, more than 10 hours. He met with Glenn Simpson with Fusion GPS. And now he met with this whistleblower and lied to the American public. Every time they have attempted a coup, there’s been one common denominator: the lies and deceit of Adam Schiff. … He needs to recuse himself today, and the speaker needs to remove him as the chairman of one of our most sensitive committees that we have.” —House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy

For the record: “I don’t even believe this whistleblower actually wrote this complaint because it’s written in a way that reads exactly like the Steele dossier, which … was Clinton bought-and-paid-for dirt.” —Rep. Devin Nunes

Deflecting: “I think we should just focus on — [Trump’s] the issue. Nobody has ever asserted that I did anything wrong except he [sic] and … Rudy [Giuliani].” —Joe Biden

Braying jenny: “The vice president has a lot to answer to. And he also should be brought before the United States Congress to speak about what exactly was his involvement and what if any solicitations were made by the president to have the vice president engage in unethical conduct and potentially illegal conduct.” —Sen. Kamala Harris

Non compos mentis: “[Trump] should not be going after anybody. He is the president of the United States of America. He is setting some of us up to be killed. I have death threats constantly.” —Rep. Maxine Waters, who told her constituents to harass Trump officials

Braying jackass: “I understand the danger of this president. I understand that he has colluded with Russia. I understand that he’s embraced Putin. I also understand that he really wants to be and act like a dictator.” —Maxine Waters

The Award for Total Lack of Self-Awareness goes to… “We have a responsibility to uphold our oath of office to support and defend the Constitution of the United States. We also have a responsibility to get the job done for the American people.” —House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on how Donald Trump should still help Democrats pass legislation while they’re taking up impeachment

The BIG Lie: “‘Billionaires should not exist’ does not mean certain people should not exist. It means no person should have a billion dollars. The ascent of billionaires is a symptom & outcome of an immoral system.” —Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Submit! “Here’s my message to Democrats. The public is already there. Well over 75% of Americans support gun licensing. … You should not be a nominee from our party … if you don’t believe in gun licensing.” —Sen. Cory Booker

Letting the cat out of the bag: “The idea of getting to federal [firearm] registration down the line? Possible.” —Joe Biden

And last… “Adam Schiff has never been afraid of a microphone. He’s never met a camera he didn’t love. And frankly, he’s never met a camera he didn’t lie to. Adam Schiff is basically the Jussie Smollett of Congress on steroids.” —Donald Trump Jr.

From the Twittersphere

Twitter removed this video from Trump’s feed: pic.twitter.com/GsI11MVXra

— Caleb SkHull 💀🎃👻 (@CalebJHull) October 3, 2019

Botham Jean’s brother to Amber Guyger: “I forgive you.”

In a stunning moment, Brandt Jean asked the judge to allow him to hug the former Dallas police officer after she was sentenced to 10 years in prison for killing his sibling. https://t.co/Pw4gBchCC1 pic.twitter.com/OPNbZrlmxi

— ABC News (@ABC) October 3, 2019