For the record: “House Democrats voted Wednesday evening to impeach Donald Trump but, media high-fives aside, what have they accomplished? They have failed to persuade the country; they have set a new, low standard for impeaching a President; Mr. Trump will be acquitted in the Senate; and Democrats may have helped Mr. Trump win re-election. Congratulations to The Resistance.” —The Wall Street Journal

Memo to the Left: “Donald J. Trump is president of the United States. He is president today. He will be president tomorrow. And he will be president when this impeachment is over.” —House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy

The BIG Lie I: “President Trump abused the enormous powers of his office when he solicited foreign interference for the purpose of helping him in his re-election campaign in 2020. The president betrayed our national security and undermined the security of our elections when he put his own personal political interests ahead of the interests of our country.” —Rep. David Cicilline

The BIG Lie II: “He tried to cheat to win re-election. And this wasn’t an attack on Vice President Biden, this was an attack on our democracy, and if we do not hold the president accountable today we will no longer live in a democracy. We will live in a dictatorship where any future president will be free to abuse their office in order to get re-elected.” —David Cicilline

Non compos mentis: “We would be crazy to walk in there knowing [Mitch McConnell] set up a kangaroo court.” —House Majority Whip James Clyburn after the House completed its kangaroo court proceedings

Trump Derangement Syndrome: “It is my adult son, Ian Schakowsky, whom I will always credit for my decision last June to support an impeachment inquiry.” —Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-IL), who just admitted planning impeachment before Trump even made his phone call to Ukraine

Dezinformatsiya: “Merry Impeachmas from the WaPo team!” —Washington Post “journalist” Rachael Bade

Grand delusions: “Fifty years from now, if you’re still alive and have grandkids, they’ll ask what it was like the night the House of Representatives had to impeach a President of the United States for violating his Oath of Office, threatening U.S. national security, and undermining our democracy.” —Newsweek columnist Seth Abramson

And last… “By the time of the election, this will all be a distant memory and nobody will care about it anymore. I don’t even care about it now and it just happened like an hour ago.” —Matt Walsh