Stephen Guy Hardin / June 27, 2011

Michelle Needs Her Fat

In her ongoing effort to reform the eating habits of fat, lazy Americans First Lady Michelle Obama queued up to the local Botswana Hard Fat Café to sample the local fare. Mrs. Obama answered reporter’s questions concerning the need for global nutrition and dietary controls between mouthfuls of French fries and fat cakes.

Before leaving the eatery to begin the next leg of her culinary tour Mrs. Obama grabbed a large take out box of deep fried sausages and more fat cakes.

The locals welcomed the First Lady’s visit at first but quickly became disgruntled when Mrs. Obama bought out two days of food and only left a ten percent tip.

Sizwe Moeketsi, one of the hungry villagers, said: “I am very proud of her visit, even for the restaurant as well, it will improve, it is a mileage as well because if they can use her trip very well, it can even upgrade their profile. But I am upset that she and her people ate all of our food. Where will our children get their fat cakes and deep fried sausages now?”

This is not the first time Mrs. Obama has been criticized for eating out of both sides of her mouth.

Earlier this year Mrs. Obama was criticized for stuffing a staggering 2200 calorie meal into the mouths of state governors at a White House gala. When questioned about the dichotomy of her position Mrs. Obama replied, “Federal nutrition restrictions and government mandated eating habits are important to keep the masses under our dietary controls, but Michelle needs her fat.”

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