Stephen Guy Hardin / July 28, 2011

Blame Barack McDonald

Ah, that insidiously evil apple lobby is at again.

Just when you thought it was safe to eat out again there goes McDonalds’ caving into the pressures of corporate “Big Apple.” McDonald’s restaurants have announced they will reduce the serving of French fries in Happy Meals to half of its current size. In its place children will be forced… I mean offered an order of apple slices or other bland, nutritional choices instead.

Ray Kroc must be turning over in his grave.

The change, to begin in early 2012, results in a 20 percent reduction in calories, fat and sodium in the Happy Meal and is being marketed as McDonalds working to curb the growing phenomena of fat American kids. The corporate shills at the golden arches claim they are responding to customer requests for healthier kid’s meals. Yet, while apples are currently available as choices for those who order Happy Meals, 89 percent of their customers don’t choose the current option of apples over fries.

Apples over fries indeed.

What’s next?

Ronald McDonald is forced to put on a brown uniform and hold a copy of Mao’s Red Book?

Do they change the name of Happy Meals to Fair Nutritional Balance Meals?

Should we expect the golden arches to become the neutral, olive arches to promote a neutral economic image for the masses?

Are they going to put SEIU membership applications in the Happy Meals’?

Does the Big Mac get phased out because it has too large a carbon footprint?

Perhaps KFC will stop killing chickens and just serve tofu wings?

Does the image of Colonel Sanders get replaced by an image of a runaway slave?

Will Wendy’s market Wendy as a lesbian?

Or will Taco Bell do an image makeover and become La Raza Bell?

But I digress.

Instead of criticizing McDonalds for succumbing to the pressure of the progressive powers that be should we instead be thanking them?

How much easier will it be to be a parent as the federal government mandates the removal of one more odious parental responsibility? Isn’t it easier to let McDonalds and the liberal lie machine decide how best to feed and care for our children. And when little Johnny or Susie or Paco cry for their saturated fat and high sodium comfort food we can just shrug our shoulders and point to the 8 x 10 color glossy of the president hanging above the McDonalds counter and say don’t blame me, blame Barack McDonald.

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