September 21, 2011

The Prince Needs a Scotch and an Icecap

Perhaps Prince Charles is suffering from the O.J. syndrome. The stress and guilt of having arranged for the timely disposal of his ex wife has finally made the once and never king of England crack. Or perhaps he’s always been a whack job and that’s why his royal mum keeps the crown jewels away from him.

Tough call, eh?

While giving his inaugural speech as the new President of the Worldwide Wildlife Fund (WWF) UK, Prince Charles has suggested ‘surviving ourselves’ should be a priority.

Referring to himself as “an endangered species,” he warned that the world is already in the “sixth extinction event,” with species dying out at a much quicker pace than at any time since the death of the dinosaurs during the reign of Queen Victoria.

Despite years of circling the globe on the British tax payers dime (or is it shilling?) crying wolf over the apocalypse that is manmade global warming, the prince said climate change was only one piece of the puzzle that will bring about the end of mankind on the planet. The “rapacious” destruction of natural resources such as water, land, food and broadband space is endangering the future survivability of the species.

“We are, of course, witnessing what some people call the sixth great extinction event – the continued erosion of much of the Earth’s vital biodiversity caused by a whole host of pressures, from the rising demand for land to the corrosive effects of all kinds of pollution,” he said.

Pulling his pet gerbil, Nigel, from his trousers pocket, the prince exclaimed that man must maintain his spiritual connection to nature. “It is the duty of man to protect the animal species of the Earth, except for snakes of course. Camilla can’t stand them, all slimy and such. Yuk.”

After replacing Nigel in his trousers, the prince continued, “It may not seem to make much difference economically if the swallows, swifts and house martins no longer turn up each spring, but what would life be like if we just accepted their extinction because their habitats have been destroyed?”

Prince Charles follows in the noble footsteps of his father the Duke of Edinburgh who was also a president of the World Wildlife Fund UK and possibly even a bigger loon than his son. It has been reported that Queen Elizabeth has been very supportive of her husband and now her son’s environmental activism. Apparently the queen will support anything to get them both out of the castle and away from her.

The prince stated that the only way to protect wildlife and ultimately the human race is to substantially change the world economy so growth is not at the expense of nature and the planet.

He then referred to the urgent need for a “sustainability revolution” through the growth of national and global government to regulate and force people to change their lifestyles so they consume less fuel, food, land and other eco resources.

“As many of you will know, I have been harping on about these challenges for many years and although this leads to inevitable criticism from some quarters, I must tell you that I put up with it because the issues we face are so important. None of us must be afraid to be stand up and be counted.”

Counted, indeed.

But what is the global ‘Green’ lobby actually counting on?

After years, even decades, of creating a climate of eco fear and climate panic the reality of the lies and distortions of the progressive movement are finally being revealed.

In 2010, the United Nations’ climate science panel admitted that it made a mistake by claiming that the Himalayan glaciers could melt by 2035. The panel was forced to retract the statement within a matter of months when it was questioned by actual scientists and not a panel of politically ambitious globalists looking to get a UN pay raise and better office space.

Or how about the North Pole being completely ice free by the year 2014?

During a speech to an international gathering of masseurs in Copenhagen in 2009, former vice-president and now ‘Green’ uber millionaire, Al Gore claimed there was unimpeachable (funny word for Al to use, eh?) research showing there is a seventy-five per cent chance that the entire polar ice cap could be completely ice free within five to seven years unless immediate measures were taken.

Of course such steps would include writing checks to Al Gore’s Save the Ice Caps Foundation LLC, Al Gore’s Adopt a Polar Bear Fund LLC and Al Gores Polar Ice Caps Are Our Friends LLC.

But, I digress.

Dr. Wieslav Maslowski, of the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, California, the climatologist whose work the prediction was based on, stated he was clear that he never expected the area to be completely ice free. He stated, “I was very explicit that we were talking about near ice free conditions and not completely ice free conditions in the northern ocean.”

When further questioned about the terms ‘near ice free’ and ‘not completely ice free,’ the good doctor said the term ‘ice free’ was scientific lexicon for completely frozen.

But these are only facts and facts have never stopped a liberal from their zealous mission of sacrificing freedoms and liberties upon the altar of their monolithic god, the centralized state. Any lie is fair game and any fear is well founded if it will promote the progressive agenda of more regulation, more taxation, more government and less freedom.

Whether it be the pretty, but vapid cadre of international celebrities crowing about trading in their Porsches for Prius’ and wearing meat dresses to protest for animal rights or the Heartbreak Kid of 2000 screaming that the debate is over while cashing your checks or the antiquated remnants of the morally bankrupt European aristocracy lecturing the peasants on their extravagant middle class lifestyles the message is still the same.

“We know what is best for you.”

So as vice presidents, movie stars and dukes cover their eyes and stop up their ears to the inevitability of their fraud, as it is being revealed, the shock of disclosure will become too much for some of them to bear. Witness the repeated public meltdowns of Al Gore as he flees from the growing chorus of questions and doubts about his religion of manmade climate change.

But in the truest stiff upper lip tradition of the English nobleman, I’m sure when questioned, Prince Charles will soldier on, chins up with hairpiece intact, until he arrives back at his castle.

Calling his valet, using the third person vernacular so prevalent among our betters, we might hear him say, “The Prince needs a scotch and an icecap.”

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