MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Following Louisiana’s recent addition of the Ten Commandments to school classrooms, sources close to George Floyd Elementary reported that a teacher who keeps BLM and Pride flags prominently displayed in her classroom demanded that the government “keep all religion out of our schools.”

Eyewitnesses in the classroom said indigenous history and genderqueer theory teacher Ladasha Sullet was “absolutely flabbergasted” to hear about Louisiana’s new mandate and immediately started shouting about how the government’s job is to “keep any and all religions out of the classroom, not shove them down children’s throats.”

“That’s a total violation of the separation of the church and state!” exclaimed Sullet, momentarily pausing her lecture on the femmeboy branch of genderfluidity to make sure her fourth-grade students properly understood her position on the issue. “There is absolutely no call for any sort of religion to be represented or displayed in a public school classroom — ever! Stop preaching at us!”

Students reported that Sullet continued her rant about not letting religion into public schools for the rest of the class period, then dismissed class after carefully adjusting her Pride flag and genuflecting before a small portrait of George Floyd she keeps as a shrine on her desk.

At publishing time, Sullet had instituted daily readings from Mao’s Little Red Book for her students after teaching them how dangerous and destructive it would be for any teacher to read students religious books like the Bible.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.