Ray Epps Announces Resignation From FBI
“Without Epps, America would be a downright peaceful place. We owe him a debt of gratitude.”
America Unburdens Itself From What Has Been
“Kamala was a huge burden, but now it’s time for us to be unburdened, more unburdened than ever before.”
In Disgusting Call for Violence, Trump Says Politicians Should Stop Sending Kids Off to War
“Trump’s call for world peace was tantamount to calling for executions by firing squad.”
Kamala Announces Construction of ‘Murderers Only’ Express Lane at Southern Border
“There are getting to be so many murderers, it’s just clogging up the system.”
‘Trump Will Start World War III,’ Says Party Autographing Bombs to Be Launched at Russia
“Donald Trump is going to wipe out our very existence with his endless wars,” said Governor Josh Shapiro as he signed a cluster bomb.
Kamala Safe and in Stable Condition After Attempted Interview
The Secret Service has advised the Harris campaign that it would be best to avoid all public appearances from now through election day.
Media Assures Americans the Real Threat Is the Side That Keeps Getting Shot At
“Every time you see another attempt to kill a Republican, remember that Democrats are the party of peace and tolerance.”
Sad: Black People Turned Away in Droves as Democrats Require Photo ID to Enter Convention
“Acquiring an official government-issued photo ID isn’t something people like me can do.”
Kamala Harris Unveils New Economic Platform ‘We Must Seize the Means of Production and Execute the Bourgeoisie’
“Long live the Proletariat! Equal outcomes for equal work!”
Touching: Kamala Announces Plan to Hang ‘Joy’ Sign Above Bread Lines
“Why do we need bread lines anyway? Wasn’t that like a Soviet thing? That doesn’t sound fun.”
Tim Walz Clarifies That He Is Not Stealing Valor, Just Redistributing It
“Say it with me — tax the valor-rich!”
Kamala to Announce Policy Positions Just as Soon as Polls Tell Her What They Are
The campaign has asked if the media and everyone on the planet could kindly disregard everything Kamala has previously said.
‘JD Vance Is Weird,’ Says Guy Who Signed Bill to Put Tampons in Boys’ School Bathrooms
“Such a backward way to live life, am I right?”
Democrats Continue Long-Standing Tradition of Large Whites-Only Gatherings
“Dividing the country into different groups based on skin color has been the hallmark of the Democratic Party since its inception.”
Sodom and Gomorrah Set to Host 2028 Olympics
“They’re a natural fit for us,” explained Olympic Committee director Max Durgen.
Top Opinion
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Matthew Continetti Lee Edwards, 1932-2024
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Gary Bauer Shutdown Showdown
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David Harsanyi The Obama Doctrine Is Dead
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Michael Barone Trump’s Success: Who’d Have Thunk It?
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Victor Davis Hanson Dronomania
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Josh Hammer Thoughts on Fatherhood: A Post-Birth Dispatch
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Michael Reagan Biden and Gang Say Don’t Sweat the Drones
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Mark Alexander Profiles of Valor: GEN Burwell Baxter ‘B.B.’ Bell
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