The Babylon Bee: Biden Invents New Language on Live TV

Fellow Patriot: The voluntary financial generosity of supporters like you keeps our hard-hitting analysis coming. Please support the 2024 Year-End Campaign today. Thank you for your support! —Nate Jackson, Managing Editor

Support Liberty

Read The Latest Digest

Humor / June 28, 2024

Biden Invents New Language on Live TV

The debate moderators appeared to struggle with Biden’s fantastic and efficient new language at first.

Listen

The Babylon Bee

ATLANTA — President Biden impressed millions of viewers during tonight’s presidential debate by inventing a brand new language live on TV.

“We find idea where fadffkvk damavdvdv,” Biden said, demonstrating his brand new language.

The new language appears to be a mix of English words, repurposed with new definitions, along with other words that are nearly impossible to pronounce.

“Dvafd remfamf mfahahm,” Biden continued. “Malarkey! The idea fvfvfv!”

The debate moderators appeared to struggle with Biden’s fantastic and efficient new language at first but stopped worrying when they realized it wouldn’t change what they thought of the president’s debate performance.

According to Nielsen Ratings, the broadcast experienced a striking uptick in viewership from the elusive linguist demographic.

“I don’t know what it means,” said Dr. Samuel Norris, a Harvard PhD. “But I’m excited.”

At publishing time, the debate entered its second hour. For undisclosed reasons, a coroner is standing by.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

START A CONVERSATION:

More Opinion

Gary Bauer

18 Minutes

Salena Zito

Biden Was the Fluke in 2020, Not Trump in 2016

Stephen Moore

Breaking Up Google Will Be a Great American Catastrophe

Tim Graham

TV Stars Mock the Tiny Threat of Trans Women in Sports

Who We Are

The Patriot Post is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland — as opposed to the MSM’s ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers — for grassroots leaders nationwide. More

What We Offer

On the Web

We provide solid conservative perspective on the most important issues, including analysis, opinion columns, headline summaries, memes, cartoons and much more.

Via Email

Choose our full-length Digest or our quick-reading Snapshot for a summary of important news. We also offer Cartoons & Memes on Monday and Alexander’s column on Wednesday.

Our Mission

The Patriot Post is steadfast in our mission to extend the endowment of Liberty to the next generation by advocating for individual rights and responsibilities, supporting the restoration of constitutional limits on government and the judiciary, and promoting free enterprise, national defense and traditional American values. We are a rock-solid conservative touchstone for the expanding ranks of grassroots Americans Patriots from all walks of life. Our mission and operation budgets are not financed by any political or special interest groups, and to protect our editorial integrity, we accept no advertising. We are sustained solely by you. Please support The Patriot Fund today!

The Patriot Post and Patriot Foundation Trust, in keeping with our Military Mission of Service to our uniformed service members and veterans, are proud to support and promote the National Medal of Honor Heritage Center, the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, both the Honoring the Sacrifice and Warrior Freedom Service Dogs aiding wounded veterans, the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, the National Veterans Entrepreneurship Program, the Folds of Honor outreach, and Officer Christian Fellowship, the Air University Foundation, and Naval War College Foundation, and the Naval Aviation Museum Foundation. "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)

Email Subscriptions

Support The Patriot Post

FAQ / Contact Us / Terms of Use / Privacy Policy / Reprinting Policy

★ PUBLIUS ★

“Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!” —George Washington

Please join us in prayer for our nation — that righteous leaders would rise and prevail and we would be united as Americans. Pray also for the protection of our Military Patriots, Veterans, First Responders, and their families. Please lift up your Patriot team and our mission to support and defend our Republic's Founding Principle of Liberty, that the fires of freedom would be ignited in the hearts and minds of our countrymen.

The Patriot Post is protected speech, as enumerated in the First Amendment and enforced by the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, in accordance with the endowed and unalienable Rights of All Mankind.